Phillies

Jayson Werth’s 2011 Season: “A Fart in the Wind”

By Kyle Scott

Published: Apr 2nd, 2012 · 9:58 AM EDT

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How many roads must a man walk down

Before you call him a man?

Yes, and how many seas must a white dove sail

Before she sleeps in the sand?

Yes, and how many times must the cannon balls fly

Before they're forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,

The answer is blowin' in the wind.

 

Or a fart. Sometimes a fart blows in the wind.

What better way to get Opening Week started off than by quoting The Great One himself, Jayson Werth. 

Asked yesterday about his disappointing 2011 campaign – the first season of his seven-year, $126 million deal – JW had this to say to Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post:

“I do feel like it was an easy fix,” Werth said. “That doesn’t always translate into great numbers. But I feel confident about this season and this team and where I’m at and what I’ve done. Last year is just one year. I got six more years on this contract, and I plan on playing after this contract. I’ll look back and 2011 will be a fart in the wind.”

 

See– that’s weird. Unfortunately for Jayson, a fart in the wind doesn’t always just disappear. Sometimes you get that crazy pre-storm wind, which is as unpredictable as it is worrisome, and it often blows the fart right back in your direction, encircling you and your friends in stink for minutes… sometimes even seven years. But I think we’re overanalyzing things. 

Kilgore has more from Werth, who, at one point this winter, got lost on his way to Nationals Park and wound up parking illegally in front of the Lincoln Memorial before having an epiphany in front of the larger-than-like statue.