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Delusional Marjorie Harris Declares Washington Commanders “America’s Team”
Published:
In a city that already has one delusional Marjorie, a usurper appears* –
The bar for becoming “America’s Team” must be pretty low these days, because the Commanders had their first good season since the iPhone debut and now everybody is ready to “crown their ass,” as the late Denny Green once said. Josh Harris is the greatest owner of all time and eternity, Jayden Daniels is the second coming of Joe Montana, and the new stadium will make the Intuit Dome look like Tropicana Field.
If anything, the Philadelphia Eagles are America’s Team. Jeffrey Lurie built a franchise with high standards, based on emotional intelligence and family culture. The players keep it clean and don’t get arrested, like the Cowboys. They donate to charity and contribute to the community. Then they go out and throttle the Chiefs 40-22 in the Super Bowl to end one of the more bothersome dynasty attempts of recent years, doing the world a service. That’s what a model franchise looks like.
Plus, Philadelphia is the birthplace of the United States and the country’s first capital. A hard-working, blue collar city. Washington is filled with slimeball lobbyists. There are enough corrupt career politicians down there to announced all 257 draft picks in 2027. Just roll out a different member of Congress for each selection. Heyo!
*editor’s note: Since we are a fair and balanced blog, I will make sure to get a Democrat joke into another post later today.
If Marjorie Harris thinks the Commanders are America’s Team, she’s got another thing coming:
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com