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Dennis Kelly and His Legendary Team Picture Making Eagles Return
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
The Eagles signed Dennis Kelly Wednesday, almost seven years after C̶h̶i̶p̶ ̶K̶e̶l̶l̶y̶ (shit it was Doug Pederson) traded him for Dorial Green-Beckham:
Veteran OL Dennis Kelly is signing with the #Eagles, per source.
Kelly has 54 career starts, including 15 in his first stint with Philadelphia from 2012-2015.
— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) July 19, 2023
DGB played 15 games for the Birds while Dennis Kelly became the heaviest guy ever to catch a touchdown in the postseason:
Big man TD 🙌
At 321 pounds, Dennis Kelly is the heaviest player to catch a TD in the playoffs. pic.twitter.com/bBGO8URFqe
— The Sporting News (@sportingnews) January 19, 2020
What a hoss!
This is awesome news! Not just because we have more O-Line depth, but because Dennis Kelly was my favorite lesbian to ever play for the Eagles:
Don’t lie to me and say that isn’t who you pictured driving the Subaru Crosstrek that almost killed AJ Brown.
I blame the NFL photographer for letting this get posted. When you have luscious locks like DK you gotta let it flow. You can’t have my guy looking like a cross between Ms. Trunchbull and a lunch lady.
The good news is he found out that when you’re a big guy the beard is always the play:
via Colts team website
That’s one thing you can’t do teach your big guy friends. You need to let them figure it out that beard is always the move. A beard for the big dogs is a cheat code. You somehow go from this:
To this:
Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
P.S. Can I get a re-do at that first impression, Dennis?
https://twitter.com/kylepaganCB/status/1681831123087765504?s=20
Don’t talk shit until you get caught up in this guy’s crystal blue gaze:
He’s like Medusa if Medusa could execute a pull block.
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com