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Fart Noise – 22 Immediate Takeaways from Whatever the Final Score Ends Up Being
Published:
That sucked!
The Eagles got smoked by a third-string quarterback.
The offense was bad, the defense was bad, the refs were bad, and the concussion spotter was bad. The quarterback was bad. Special teams was bad. The coaching was bad. The energy and compete level was bad. Everything was bad! Nothing was good.
Now we go to the observations.
1) Looked like the Eagles booting the ball off a tee didn’t make much of a difference. They were still able to hit their dirty kick with Braden Mann holding an angled ball for Jake Elliott.
2) When Case Keenum’s name was mentioned earlier this week, did you know he was still in the NFL? Yeah, me neither. He destroyed the Eagles and looked great out there. Credit to him.
3) I saw somebody last week on Twitter say that Ben Johnson is what everybody thinks Nick Sirianni is, which is a dickhead. Not sure if that was true in this game, but it resonated with me.
4) This was pathetic:
Multiple guys with an opportunity there, but Marcus Epps, Byron Young, and Arnold Ebiketie stand out. Should have gotten him down.
5) The intentional grounding penalty killed the first Eagles drive. They were trying to run a little bit of play action with a bootleg (had Dontayvion Wicks wide open on a post route) but two guys were already in the backfield, pretty much unblocked. It took them from 2nd and 6 to 3rd and 16 after picking up 35 yards on the three previous plays.
6) Bears fans were booing the end of their second drive because they thought they saw a penalty, but Moro Ojomo didn’t cross into the neutral zone (foreshadowing). Good no-call!
7) That was ridiculous, the play where the Bears special teamer covered the ball with his foot on the goal line. That was good for a 19-yard swing and kept the Eagles from being pinned down on their own 1. Didn’t matter though, because the Eagles went backwards, committing a holding penalty before fumbling on the next play. That gave Chicago the ball on the 15 yard line.
8) Not sure about that second penalty on Riq Woolen. Colston Loveland is pretty clearly just trying to clear out for the receiver. He also pushes off to create some separation Wish they’d just let these guys play football:
9) The sequence after this was so silly. Loveland falling down about an inch before the goal line. Jalen Carter blowing up a running play, then he’s basically pushed to the ground from behind while Rome Odunze drops a touchdown pass. Then the Bears throw at Quinyon Mitchell on fourth down and he breaks it up. Ben Johnson is so dumb. Just take the points man.
10) Maybe Odunze dropped the ball in an act of good sportsmanship because Jalen Carter didn’t get this call:
Fair play to Odunze!
11) After the hit on Jalen Hurts:
12) Can’t believe they went 12 plays and 95 yards just for Andy Dalton to throw an interception in the end zone. You’ve got to be kidding me. Saquon had just run it for 14 and they couldn’t punch it in from two yards out? They couldn’t just run a regular QB sneak? It’s hard to believe they couldn’t finish that drive after how well they ran it down the length of the field. Infuriating.
13) Would sure like to hear from the concussion spotter, who was the one that pulled Jalen Hurts out of the game. Hurts took the contact to his chest and shoulder. His head didn’t even hit the turf on the way down.
14) The hit itself was borderline. Hurts was right at the sticks, though he didn’t exactly pull a Jaxson Dart and try to put his head down and pick up the extra yard. But the guy came in harder than maybe he had to. Honestly, I think it’s one of those plays where if it happens to our guy, we’re mad, and if it happens to their guy, we’re probably complaining about the flag. Watch it again from this angle:
15) That was an impressive drive right before halftime to pick up points. DeVonta Smith with another high pointing moment of brilliance. He’s so good. Big catch after big catch. Then the screen play, which was a doozy. Jordan Mailata crushed a dude. They almost scored on it, but it took so long to get the ball back and line up and so Jalen Hurts decided to just call the tush push instead of trying to spike the ball. That went from potential disaster to brilliance in the blink of an eye. The margins are so thin. Think about how much we would have been killing them if they failed to get off another play before the clock ran out. After calling a screen!
16) Blown opportunity to continue the momentum after halftime. I hated that 2nd and 3 swing pass to Barkley, who was averaging 6.7 yards per carry. Just get north and south, enough with the sideways shit.
17) Quinyon Mitchell had two pass break ups in this game that saved somewhere between 6-10 points. Pay him whatever he’s worth.
18) FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING MAKAI LEMON ORBIT MOTION AND BUBBLE SCREEN
19) Seriously… it’s the worst play in the playbook. You’ve got Zach Ertz out there blocking for Lemon in space. Nobody can block it. Throw the poor guy a downfield pass, like he got in the 1st quarter. You didn’t draft him just to throw him bubble screens. The first two Eagles drives of the second half were killed off by passes thrown behind the line of scrimmage.
20) Not sure what that 4th and 1 hard count was all about. It was 4th and a long 1, but it seemed like they weren’t totally sure if they wanted to go for it or not.
21) The Hurts interception… woof.
22) Ojomo jumping on a hard count was pretty pathetic. He was barely into the neutral zone, but still.
(I turned the game off after Chicago went up 27-7)
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com