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It’s Time The Corn Chip Got Proper Respect as a Dipping Tool
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
The girlfriend had some friends staying the weekend a couple weeks ago and the greatest thing about women is they know how to shop. You go over to your buddies for a weekend and you expect a dozen bagels, some water, and beer will hold you over and you’ll just order out for lunch and dinner. At my house it was dip central. Salsa, guac, cannoli, Tzatziki, spinach, buff chick, every dip you could imagine as far as the eye could see. We had chips, pretzels, crackers, and any dipping tool you could want. But one stood out above the rest. The corn chip. And it made me realize the corn chip is an underutilized, but elite dipping tool.
During the holidays you’re going to experience an assortment of dips all in a short time. Those dips cannot be thoroughly accessed without the proper dipping tool. A Chick-Fil-A nugget in their signature sauce on a nugget tray. The pretzel in a Helluva Good french onion dip. The Tostitos Scoop in buff chick dip. All elite sources of dippage. But there is one chip that is rarely, if ever, invited to the party, and that is the corn chip. Not just any corn chip, but the Fritos designed Scoops. It’s as durable as your dad’s leather belt, as dependable as Jason Kelce on Sundays, and underrated as a college football Saturday in 45-degree weather with clear skies.
Look at this engineering marvel:
Big Chip wants you to believe the Tostitos Scoop is the best chip for dipping, and the marketing around it has warped America’s brains. Remember the commercial featuring two of the most overrated Chips of all time?
How many times have you tried to make one swift motion through a dip with a Tostitos Scoop and part of chip has broken apart? It probably happens 70% of the time. Then you’re stuck there trying to fish out the broken parts of the chip with your dirty hands that already touched part of your mouth, and now you’re Patient Zero of the Christmas Party. Now think of everyone else there who had to do the same thing because Tostitos refuses to reinforce their chip, and you’re passing around more viruses than a Wuhan bio lab.
That won’t happen with the Fritos Scoops. It cuts through dip like a hot knife through butter. It’s long enough that your dirty thumb won’t get in the dip every time you scoop. You can hold more in the Fritos Scoop than you can in eight sides of a Tostitos Scoop bowl, and the corn chip just tastes better. It has more crunch, it’s salted perfectly, and that last bit of corn at the end really brings the flavor altogether.
It’s time the corn chip gets its proper due. If you or the girlfriend/wife are bringing a dip to the Christmahanakwanzika party, accompany it with a corn chip scoop. If you’re meeting the girlfriend’s parents for the first time, bring the Fritos Scoop and I promise you her dad will give YOU the deed to the house by the end of the night. People don’t realize what they’re missing until they’ve eaten an entire bowl. Death to the Tostitos Scoop.
*Editor’s Note: Coggin here. Fritos Scoops are the better tool for scooping, yes, but do they taste better than a tortilla chip? Oh my no.
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com