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Jerry Jones Doesn’t Know if Micah Parsons Will Play in NFL Opener Against the Eagles
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
Jerry Jones you are the gift that keeps on giving! The MVP for the last 30 years of the Philadelphia Eagles. He has no idea if Micah Parsons will play Week 1 even though he’s in complete control of when Micah Parsons will play. It turns out they haven’t even talked since Parsons requested a trade last week, according to Todd Archer at ESPN.com:
Dallas Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones is not confident Pro Bowl edge rusher Micah Parsons will be available for the Sept. 4 season opener against the Philadelphia Eagles.
“No, absolutely not,” Jones said after Tuesday’s joint practice with the Los Angeles Rams. “A big part of that is his decision. How would I know that?”
Parsons made a trade request Friday that Jones dismissed as part of the negotiation toward a multiyear agreement between the two sides. Since then, Jones has not spoken with Parsons — at one point before practice they were a mere 7 yards apart — and there have been no discussions between the team and Parsons’ agent, David Mulugheta.
Jones was asked when the urgency for a deal would increase, and he eventually said, “I’m urgent.”
“How would I know that?” says the owner and GM of the team that literally should know that. Amazing stuff. Just two stubborn mules who refuse to talk to each other sitting less than a first down apart from one another. It’s amazing the soap opera that goes on in Dallas. I’m in a fight with my fiance over laundry right now and we’re acting the same way. Just avoiding each other even though we both work from home and she’s in the next room over. I know she’s pissed I haven’t folded my clothes yet, but I’ve been busy and it’s not like it’s in the way or anything. That’s what a second bedroom is for, right? It’s a Cold War in this house like it is in Oxnard, California. Will I be signing a contract in a couple months? Stay tuned. My impending divorce if I don’t fold my underwear will still do less damage than what these two are doing to each other.
This could even get messier. He literally admitted to creating a reality show around the Dallas Cowboys:
It’s amazing to watch him say the quiet part out loud. He’s having messy contract negotiations play out in the public for ratings. What’re the chances that Jerry is just waiting until his Netflix show comes out to get a deal done? If I had to guess, Parsons signs a day or two before that releases, or the week of, just so they can pump up Jerry’s tires on the Netflix doc. Jones is still holding on to the fact that Parsons agreed to a contract without his agent when they spoke months ago so it seems like they still have a lot of figuring out to do. He’s babbling about handshake deals and flipping coins like he’s still in the oil baron business. He’s talking about a player’s extension like he’s buying some land for a new oil field. This is my favorite reality show ever!
Please let this guy live forever.
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com