Eagles

Master Chef Kevin Patullo Plates a Scrumptious Word Salad

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Oct 1st, 2025 · 11:11 AM EDT

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This was the first question and answer from Kevin Patullo’s Tuesday press conference:

Q. What went wrong in the second half against Tampa from your perspective? (Cayden Steele)

Kevin Patullo: I mean when you look at the game as a whole, we started off the game like we wanted to: we had good pace, good rhythm, we got it going. I think sometimes when you evaluate games after the fact, there’s obviously things we want to work on to get better, and we know we can be critical of as a staff that we know we can continue to improve.

I think stepping out and looking at it, there were some things I felt like at times we were just trying to do what we wanted to. Looking back, I think there’s some things we can change as far as how we want to approach that situation.

But really, it just comes down to learning from each situation. We’ve had very unique games to this point and so I think it’s been good to go through that. Early in the season we’ve played really, really good defenses and we’ve had to adjust accordingly, whether it’s second half, whether it’s come out in the first half, and do different things to try to throw them off. I think really, it’s been a good learning process for us now as coaching staff, and players to continue to grow as an offense.

This is a masterclass on two different fronts. One, he didn’t answer the question, which is a pro football staple. Number two, he laid down a bed of lettuce, chopped up some tomatoes, avocado, and cucumber, and plated a delicious word salad:

“there were some things I felt like at times we were just trying to do what we wanted to. Looking back, I think there’s some things we can change as far as how we want to approach that situation.”

Wait.. what? That makes no sense. Absolutely brilliant! It’s like Patullo went to the Mike Groh school of media for that particular line.

Here’s another good one:

“I think sometimes when you evaluate games after the fact, there’s obviously things we want to work on to get better.”

Wow! That is a deep thought right there. Really makes you pause and reflect.

Patullo is so good at this. His pressers are like the total opposite of Vic Fangio’s. Vic is out there giving one word and one-sentence answers, then he’ll maybe randomly go off about baseball or kickers not rubbing their balls before field goals. Patullo is like an A.I. created from a media training seminar. He’s mastered the art of speaking, but nothing is actually said.

Meantime, the Eagles are 4-0.