Eagles

Monday Night Football: Eagles’ Atrocious Offense and Great Defense vs. Cowboys’ Atrocious Defense and Great Offense

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Oct 22nd, 2026 · 11:55 AM EDT

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Almost forgot that the Eagles play the Cowboys this weekend. Well, Monday Night Football, actually.

Is this the worst Dallas Week ever? We’re currently Flyered and Sixered up while the Eagles are an afterthought on October 22nd, which hasn’t happened since… jeez, I don’t know, maybe the very end of the Andy Reid era.

To set the scene, the Birds are 2-4 and Jalen Hurts is out for the season. They put a practice squad offense out there against Carolina.

The Cowboys are 2-4 with wins against the Commanders and Texans. They haven’t held an opponent below 23 points this season.

This is the prevailing thought, the dueling fecklessness. I was sitting there the other night going through it in my head, thinking this was a mirror match but in a very perverse type of way. One team has a great offense and pitiful defense, and the other team has a pitiful offense and a great defense.

Although, to be fair, Dak Prescott and his guys didn’t exactly light the world on fire against the Buccaneers or Packers. They scored 16 points and 13 points. That was after three weeks in a row of going for 30+ points while spraying the ball all over the field and pounding the rock with Javonte Williams, who has seven rushing touchdowns this season. The Eagles only have four, and two of them belong to Will Shipley and Dameon Pierce. It does seem like the Cowboys’ stinky defense is wearing out the offense, which feels like it has to score a touchdown every time they gain possession.

This is going to be one of those weird exercises in physics. The immovable force vs. the unstoppable object. Eagles defense vs. Cowboys offense will a beautiful sight to behold, really high-level and intriguing football there. Then it’s gonna be the atrocious Eagles offense vs. atrocious Cowboys defense, which means that something has to give. Wet paper bag vs. wet paper bag right there. Who breaks through?

What’s funny, as an exercise, is to combine the depth charts, and make them into one amazing team and one hideous team:

Amazing Team

• offense: Dak Prescott, Javonte Williams, CeeDee Lamb, George Pickens, Jake Ferguson, Ryan Flournoy, Tyler Smith, Cooper Beebe, Tyler Booker, etc.
• defense: Jalen Carter, Jordan Davis, Quinyon Mitchell, Moro Ojomo, Cooper DeJean, Zack Baun, Riq Woolen, Andrew Mukuba, etc

This team would win the Super Bowl.

Hideous Team

• offense: Tanner McKee, Dameon Pierce, DeVonta Smith, Dontayvion Wicks, Makai Lemon, Dallas Goedert, Jordan Mailata, Willie Lampkin, Jake Majors, Tyler Steen, Markel Bell, etc
• defense: Quinnen Williams, Kenny Clark, Rashan Gary, DeMarvion Overshown, Dee Winters, Donovan Ezeiruaku, Caleb Downs, DaRon Bland, Malik Hooker, etc

This team would be in line for the #1 overall draft pick.

No hyperbole, because the numbers bear out. The Eagles rank 32nd in yards per play, 30th in total offense, 29th in rushing offense, 28th in scoring offense, and 26th in passing offense. The Cowboys rank 32nd in yards allowed per play, 32nd in rushing defense, 30th in total defense, 25th in scoring defense, and 23rd in passing defense.

If the Eagles can’t do anything against this Cowboys defense, they’re totally cooked. Saquon Barkley could be back, but it’s gonna be tough sledding behind that line. Plus, Sean Mannion and Nick Sirianni haven’t exactly inspired confidence with their scheming and play calling.

And if the Cowboys can’t do anything against this Eagles offense, they’re also cooked. Their remaining schedule isn’t exactly murderer’s row, but they still have to play the Niners, Seahawks, Jags, and Rams. Arizona, Indy, and Tennessee may even put up some points on them.

Strap in, boys and girls. We’re in for a treat.