Ad Disclosure
New Year, New Philadelphia: Let’s Block Out the Negativity and Enjoy the Ride in 2026
Published:
Happy New Year! By god, it’s the year of our lord 2026 and this time things are going to be different. SURE, you’ve said that to yourself every single January for the last two decades, but this time it’s for real!
Those dusty running shoes that have been sitting next to the front door for the last 12 months? We’re strapping them on and running around the block a few times before calling it quits. Can’t burn ourselves out this quickly. That pesky heart valve problem the quote/unquote “doctors” told you to fix or you may quote/unquote “die” a horrendous death? Bah, what do they know?! Unnecessary surgeries? THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU. Hell, if you don’t go to doctor this year you’ll never know what’s wrong with you in the first place, therefore it can’t hurt you. EASY PEASY (for legal purposes I must stress this is a joke…go to the doctor you fucking idiots…or don’t I’m not your mom).
But those resolutions? Your personal health?! Those are small potatoes compared to the big picture that you can control this year. Philadelphia, it’s time we take a long, cold hard look at the way we indulge in sport. We’re no longer the sad sack sports town we once were, so goodness gracious it’s time we start acting like the big shots we are.
Let’s take a look at some easy fixes and things we should be thankful for in 2026 to make Philadelphia sports fans happier and more successful in the new year. .
Come to Terms with Philadelphia Sports Talk Radio
A big one right off the bat. “Coggin,” you may be saying to yourself, “all you do all day, every day is complain about Philadelphia sports talk radio on social media.” You rascals, you got me dead to rights. Sure, there’s nothing I enjoy more than ripping apart the long-antiquated medium of sports talk radio and its hypocritical hosts that can’t go more than week without contradicting themselves or embarrassing the city. That’s just good old fashioned fun, right there.
But I ask of you… to what end? Will it stop people from listening? Will it stop every single host from incessantly complaining about the Philadelphia Eagles, despite winning two Super Bowls and 104 regular season games since 2017? These are results we could only dream about when Andy Reid was blowing three straight NFC championships and fumbling away the clock in his lone Eagles Super Bowl appearance.
Will my criticisms stop sports talk hosts from calling for the head of Jalen Hurts, a Super Bowl MVP, one of the most successful Philadelphia quarterbacks of all time, for the likes of Tanner McKee?
NO, no they won’t. The shit show that is sports talk radio will continue to churn out the drivel that fuels the dregs of fandom in this city, the kind of people you cringe at seeing out and about in public, wondering how they can exist on their own and have gone as far as they have without accidentally swallowing their own tongues.
It won’t change anything, but you know what? It’s still fun. So carry on, gang, who am I to deny you from doing what you love?!
Call out every single bullshit take. Every single proposed trade that makes no sense. Every single call for the backup quarterback to play over the Super Bowl MVP. Every horrible, horrible “comedy bit” that pollutes the airwaves.
But, also remember to give thanks that the likes of Howard Eskin, Tony Bruno, Angelo Cataldi, Mike Missanelli, and every other old-ass blowhard has been that used to be a prominent figure in the sports talk landscape is no longer relevant. Gone, but certainly not missed.
Thank God You’re Not a Cowboys Fan
Can you imagine this being something to be thankful for 26 years ago at the turn of the century? Could you IMAGINE being a Cowboys fan right now? Four playoff wins in the last thirty years, an owner who prioritizes his Bogota “pen pals” and the “care packages” they send him every month over winning, and zero Super Bowl championships since VHS was the preferred medium of choice.
It’s hilariously pathetic. The “Next Year is our Year” is the saddest/most entertaining storyline of each NFL season. Cowboys fans goosing themselves up for success, only for their erratic owner to pull the rug out from under their feet every single year. Oh, this year is your year? MICAH PARSONS TRADED. Oh, this year is your year? NEGOTIATE AGAINST YOURSELF TO OVERPAY FOR CEEDEE LAMB AND DAK PRESCOTT. Oh, this year is your year? TRADE FOR AN ERRATIC WIDE RECEIVER DURING A CONTRACT YEAR WHO HILARIOUSLY DISAPPEARS WHEN IT MATTERS MOST AND PUT YOURSELF IN ANOTHER IMPOSSIBLE CONTRACT SCENARIO.
Jeffrey Lurie would rub Lane Johnson’s feet for hours at a time if he thought it would milk another game out of his beloved tackle. Jerry Jones refuses to close the curtains of his multi-billion stadium for aesthetic purposes despite the glare actively blinding his players. They are not the same.
Thank god you’re an Eagles fan.
The Flyers Seem to Be Coming out of their Coma
Hey, who remembers the classic Steven Seagal movie Hard to Kill? You remember the one! Cop is in a seven-year coma, miraculously revives himself with no lost musculature, no brain damage, and with a kickass beard that somehow makes him even SEXIER? That’s the Flyers! New head coach Rick Tocchet is that sexy beard!
They’ve been in a coma for more than a decade and they’re finally coming out of it, hellbent to destroy all before them in the Metropolitan Division and with a taste for REVENGE.
It’s just a theory, but the city’s vibes are always better when the Flyers are relevant. The children YEARN for blood on the ice and this Flyers squad is scrappy as hell. PLUS, it’s always fun to have a stud Russian on the roster who may or may not have communist sympathies. As long as he keeps that plus/minus up and scores 30+ goals a season, I’ll keep my personal doctrines as red as possible for the benefit of our glorious communal society.
Dosvedanya, comrades. See you in the bread line wearing orange and black.
Troel Embiid is Back
Troel Embiid is the best version of Joel Embiid. We all wrote the big fella off after last year’s horrific, injury-plagued season, but he’s back and trollier than ever.
Going bonkers after his first dunk of the season? Check.
Fake crotch chopping after an and-1? Be still my beating heart.
He’s at his best when he has some semblance of health and when he’s at his trolliest. It’s an undeniable fact. Too healthy, but too serious? He’s gassed at halftime. Too trolly, but not healthy? People want him traded.
A little trolly and decently healthy? That’s the sweet spot and we seem to be living in it right now. Let’s hope it continues.
Enjoy the Ride
Right now, you are living in one of, if not the most, successful eras in all of Philadelphia sports history.
The Philadelphia Eagles are having the most success they’ve ever had in their entire franchise history. The Philadelphia Phillies have been to the playoffs for the last four seasons in a row. The Flyers are finally Flyering again. The 76ers have a potential superstar on their hands in the form of Tyrese Maxey and may have drafted another in VJ Edgecombe.
This is what we’ve been waiting for. Relevance. Championships. Playoffs. It’s hard to block out the continuous negativity from some factions in this city when we’re living amidst an INSANE amount of success.
Block out the negativity. Enjoy the ride in 2026.
And get that heart valve fixed. You’re worth it.
I have no merits or accomplishments worth noting. Founder of Philadelphia's most trusted sports blog, The Coggin Toboggan. Can I just take a minute of your time to share the good word about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?