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Eagles

Old Men Everywhere are Mad at Philadelphia

Kyle Pagan

By Kyle Pagan

Published:

via Sunday Night Football Broadcast

I haven’t seen a bunch of old men this mad at Philadelphia since the country gave a big fuck you to George the Third. Let’s start with Nick Sirianni:

Talk about zero context here. Nick Sirianni was yelling at the refs to kick the Cowboys defensive lineman out of the game who cheap-shotted Jason Kelce for finishing a block:

He did the exact same thing in the preseason when a Jets LB hit Jalen Hurts on the sideline after he was already out of bounds.

Nick’s “How Bout Dem Eagles” ruffled the feathers of a lot of the fanboy reporters because it triggered the part of their brain that had memories of the last time the Cowboys were good:

That whole “rivalry not having to do with the game” stuff is just lip service. It’s Cowboys vs. Eagles. One of the best rivalries in football. You’re mad at this celebration? If the Cowboys started 6-0, Jerry Jones would stick his tongue down some random woman’s mouth and give her night terrors for the next decade.

This one was my favorite:

I love the guys who say we shouldn’t be excited for a nine-point victory over a backup QB when the spread was seven. Should the Eagles have stepped on the Cowboys’ throats and never let them get up? Of course. But the Eagles dominated 75% of that game. They also had their starting RT,  LT, and safety all miss time. And they still covered. Good teams win. Great teams cover.

Then we had the national media up in arms about the 87-win Phillies having the audacity to make it to the NLCS. A year after the 88-win Braves won the World Series and nobody made a peep:

You know what else postseason baseball had over the last 70 years? Pitchers throwing 110+ pitches in a game. Today’s game has more to do with strategy than ever before. Adapt or die.

This reeks of participation trophy energy. Just because you won the most games in the regular season, you should get a cake walk to the World Series? I don’t see anyone crying about the 2011 102-win Phillies or the 2001 110-win Mariners getting bounced before the World Series. If you’re the Dodgers and Braves you had every advantage. The Phillies pitched Ranger Suarez against a Cy Young candidate in Game 1. How about instead of the Phillies you blame the guys who you just paid a quarter of a billion to for not showing up when it counted?

This, though, was the absolute worst out of all of them:

It has this line in the story:

The Dodgers’ success over a grinding six-month season risks being tossed aside if they lose a best-of-five series to that second-place team, the San Diego Padres. It’s akin to winning a 26.2-mile marathon by an hour, then having to beat the runners-up at a 100-meter sprint to be declared champion.

Fuck off. It’s more like you winning a marathon by an hour, going to take a nap during the last mile, and waking up to find you lost because you overslept, then cried to the judges that you deserve the trophy because you were so far ahead. If someone in Philadelphia wrote this column they’d be tarred and feathered by Phillies fans in the middle of City Hall for making us look like a bunch of pussies. California can’t fall into the Pacific Ocean soon enough.

This is why winning is awesome in this city. Nobody wins like we do. We’ll beat you, steal your beloved chants, and then dance on your grave:

YouTube video

 

Kyle Pagan
Kyle Pagan

Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com

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