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Scottie Scheffler Would Give up One Major for a Cowboys Super Bowl
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
Scottie Scheffler was on Pardon My Take, where he mentioned he’d give up one Major for a Cowboys Super Bowl, which is funny because Scheffler was born five months after the Cowboys’ last NFC Championship Game appearance. Lets pump the brakes a little when you’re talking about the Cowboys and the Super Bowl. Baby steps first:
I don’t even think this is a hot take, but there is no chance the Cowboys win a Super Bowl in the next decade. Not as long as Jerry Jones is alive and as Eagles fans it’s important we figure out a way to keep him alive forever. There should be an entire team of Penn doctors who are specifically tasked with creating a drug that makes someone live forever and it should be hand delivered to Jerry himself so he can continue chasing the glory hole he’s been looking for.
They better hurry up because the old man is losing it:
What’re we going to do when he’s six feet under? I’m going to miss him ethering his best player during press conferences in the middle of contract negotiations. You know it’s bad when “Michael Parson” is retweeting clips and other Cowboys players are standing in solidarity with him:
It’s been a clown show in Dallas for years and I love it. You know this video just made his curdled blood boil:
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com