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The National Media is in Shambles as Santa Crowd Surfs During Limp Bizkit Set in Philly
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
Good luck to all of the lazy sportswriters out there that need to fill column space with words about Philly fans throwing snowballs at Santa 60 years ago. Report the truth. Philly loves St. Nick and a bunch of Metallica and Limp Bizkit fans moshing and crowd surfing with him proves our point:
What a comeback story for the people of Philadelphia. Does that look like the sons and daughters of Eagles fans who threw snowballs at St. Nick? Absolutely not. Those are people that spotted that jolly ‘ol son of a gun and thought ‘I want to mosh with that guy.’ Did you see the guy in the yellow holding his cig above the crowd so that Santa didn’t get burnt? That’s the ultimate sign of respect people. And before anyone’s like ‘you shouldn’t lift an old frail man up like that,’ take notice it was Santa who told everyone to lift him up. All those guys who complied are on the nice list for life.* I can’t even imagine what Santa got into as the night unfolded. I hope Mrs. Clause wasn’t waiting up. Rudolph probably smelled the Xfinity bull on him the next morning and got jealous.
You ever wonder what Santa does when he’s not at the North Pole? He’s at heavy metal concerts moshing and crowd surfing:
Wait. Holy shit is that Jim McMahon? What a crew:
Solid weekend in Philly for concerts. You had Metallica and Limp Bizkit on Friday and Sunday and then Jelly Roll and Post Malone sandwiched in between. Post even brought out Allen Iverson for “White Iverson” –
*Kinkead: Can confirm that mosh pits are very friendly. Everyone respects the rules. If someone falls down, you stop and pick them up. If someone loses a shoe or a wallet, you hold it up in the air so they can claim it. If Santa wants to get up, get him the fuck up.
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com