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Elon Musk Will Be in the Most Beautiful Place in the Commonwealth: Delco
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
The richest man in the world is going to be in Delco on Thursday night. He’s worth 41,765,704,584 Wawa Italian Classics and could pay for one semester of the next 24 million students to walk through the doors of DC3. A buddy of mine sent over his ticket to a town hall event that will be held at Ridley High School. This has to be the most famous person to come to Ridley since Bradley Cooper was filming Silver Linings Playbook:
“Yeooo Elon let me getta ride in your rocket jawn.”
How about Philly being the epicenter of the world for like the entire last year? Wasn’t that cool for like a week? Feels like we have both nominees here every other day. The god damn traffic on 95 has been brutal. They shut down the city for like 24 hours whenever a nominee’s cousin stays at the Four Seasons. How many campaign rallies do either of these candidates have to do? We get it. You want Pennsylvania. No shit. Can’t you do some digital marketing and stop with the 20-person detail during rush hour? It’s gotta do more harm than good. You could have the bluest of blue soccer mom, but if you make her late to one school pick up and she’s going to become full-on MAGA.
I can’t wait for election season to be over. Every single commercial is Kamala border this. Trump 2025 Project that. Big Bad Orange Man! She’s for They/Them! It’s all so fucking stupid. I went down to New Orleans for a weekend and didn’t see one political ad because I guess the state is accounted for already. Forgot there was even an election. It was awesome. Need that up here.
Anywho, I hope Elon gets the full Essington experience before he leaves for the airport. A stay at the Red Roof Inn and a relaxing night at Lou Turk’s will do the body good before you have to go talk to a bunch of Hoagie Mouths wearing Kelly Green already pissed off because the Birds and Phillies suck.
If you go to this, make sure you tell him how much his new block feature sucks, and knock it off with the killer robots for me:
Soon we’ll be launching a change to how the block function works.
If your posts are set to public, accounts you have blocked will be able to view them, but they will not be able to engage (like, reply, repost, etc.).
— Engineering (@XEng) October 16, 2024
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com