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The Flyers Couldn’t Let the Penguins Win After Blake Lizotte Speared Porter Martone in the Nads
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Flyers secured their first playoff series win since 2020 with an overtime victory in South Philly on Wednesday night in a Game 6 that was about as close as it gets. With neither team able to notch a goal through regulation, the Flyers were in need of some juice – and Pittsburgh supplied it when Blake Lizotte speared Porter Martone in the nads:
It’s obvious what happened from there. The Flyers saw this cheap shot and made a decision: They would rally around their rookie phenom’s nads. They would avenge his groin. The Flyers weren’t about to let Lizotte get away with stabbing at their young star’s pelvis. Philly dug deep and simply refused to lose. They couldn’t let the Penguins get away with what they did. Porter’s nuts would not be poked in vain.
This is exactly what makes this Flyers team so special. We’ve all rooted for teams that don’t have that kind of bond, that companionship, the familial feel – teams where players seem to clock in and clock out, get their paycheck, and go home. This is not that; the Flyers have shown it over the last month-plus, and last night they added a defiant exclamation point: This team is willing to go to battle to restore the honor of their teammate’s nads, and that feeling is contagious. This is exactly why the fans love this squad:
These guys are brothers.
They play together.
They win together.
They want the best for each other’s nads.
And that’s why they’re moving on to Round 2.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)