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Hey, The Shocker Made a Rare Citizens 7 Appearance Last Night
By Kyle Scott
Published:
Good lookin' out by reader Andrew. As I've said before, there needs to be a screening process for anyone sitting behind home plate (in view of cameras) or appearing as part of Citizens 7. I'll even write the one-page screener. If you answer yes to two or more of these questions, you're out:
Are you drunk?
Do you have a sign which features a commonly accepted name for "semen"? [example]
Did you go to Devon Prep?*
Are you at the game with your girlfriend and do the two of you not have a private place to make a sexual? [example]
Is your name Jordan or Candice?
Ill shirt? (auto DQ)
Are you Jeff Carter? [example]
Do you remember that time Cliff Lee threw his no-hitter?
Are you horny? [example] [example] [example]
Do you have an app that turns emoticons into 2D images?
Did someone give you those seats or is your ticket for elsewhere in the ballpark?
Are you wearing a red fist? [example]
*Required, I went to Malvern
See how easy that was? You're welcome, Phillies.
Kyle Scott is the founder and editor of CrossingBroad.com. He has written for CBS Philly and Philly Voice, and been a panelist or contributor on NBC Sports Philly, FOX 29 and SNY TV, as well as a recurring guest on 97.5 The Fanatic, 94 WIP, 106.7 The Fan and other stations. He has more than 10 years experience running digital media properties and in online advertising and marketing.