Phillies

It’s Disappointing to Learn that Jimmy Eat World’s Drummer is a Crybaby Diamondbacks Fan

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Oct 18th, 2023 · 10:17 AM EDT

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I was 39 years old when I learned that the Jimmy Eat World drummer is a crybaby Diamondbacks fan:

Wow. Realmuto begging for the HBP up 6 runs. What a chump.

— Zach Lind (@zlind76) October 18, 2023

Listen Phillies fans. Go ahead and talk your shit. Blah Blah Blah. Your payroll is only $130,000,000 more than the Dbacks. Our team is young and playing with house money win or lose.

— Zach Lind (@zlind76) October 18, 2023

The Phillies have a guy on their team that pours water on his hair throughout the game cause he thinks he looks cool when his hair is wet.

— Zach Lind (@zlind76) October 17, 2023

I’d much rather have a pool in my home stadium than a team full of dudes that look like they’re awaiting their Jan 6 trials. https://t.co/sHl4D6o6yb

— Zach Lind (@zlind76) October 18, 2023

Hey listen buddy, my cover band used to open with Bleed American 12 years ago. If I had known you were a serial whiner I would have updated the setlist to open with Weezer instead. Rivers Cuomo isn’t on Twitter complaining about his baseball team’s payroll.

Jimmy Eat World did have some bangers back in the day, so credit to them for that. My favorite was “The Middle” –

“Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel like you’re down 2-0 in the NLCS
Just try your best, try everything you can 
And don’t you worry about getting swept

It just takes some time
Little girl, in the middle of the zone
Everything, everything will be a meatball
Everything, everything is leaving the ballpark