Phillies

Jason Heyward Jogging Off The Field Is a Work of Art

By Kyle Scott

Published: Aug 16th, 2019 · 9:13 AM EDT

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I’m an abstract kind of guy.

I excelled in discrete math, but put a calc question in front of me and I’ll vomit profusely. I got into Honors Algebra II with Paul Hornsleth on the strength of my stellar geometry work and then promptly fell on my face the first time I saw X and Y on opposing sides of the equal sign.

So while I’m firmly in support of the statistical movement in sports, I do prefer some good ol’ visual evidence. You know, for proof. Ergo, the best goddamn use of MLB’s Statcast these eyes hath ever seen:

Once Bryce Harper made contact, the Cubs right fielder knew this one was over. pic.twitter.com/uVbHwiBJZg

— Cut4 (@Cut4) August 16, 2019

LOL.

What was the #exitvelo on Jason Heyward vacating his right field position when Harper – oh my God! – slayed that stitched up dragon? 2 trots per gallop? 3 crow hops per foot? 4 strides per 8 feet Bryce DEMOLISHED that baseball? I haven’t seen that sort of outfielder disrespect since Ron Gant just watched a Wes Chamberlain bomb land in the upper deck in 1993.

I imagine Charlie Manuel walked into that clubhouse the other day carrying a Wawa bag, took one look at some sort of rocket blast off sequence written on the board by Kapler, and then erased it, mumbled something about “f*cking nerds,” and replaced it with a hastily drawn image of a kangaroo punching a wombat and said, “like that.”

Get out of here you dumb marsupial!

still don’t know where the ball went and the 400 level was shaking but I got the swing that ended it pic.twitter.com/aX6KM5oNl4

— “that funny tweetur guy” (@pivettahype) August 16, 2019

And give me a hug, old man:

pic.twitter.com/7XW5sANT27

— John Foley (@2008Philz) August 16, 2019