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Kyle Schwarber is a Gift
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
This video in the locker room from Tuesday night cracked me up. What a hilariously awkward speech from Topper:
First, you have Bryson Stott, who looks like he rather be anywhere else than being showered with praise for his 500th Big League hit. Did Topper call him “Stud” there? Solid nickname. Then you have Kyle Schwarber holding a tiny glass of champagne in his meaty paw that was the catalyst for mashing 50 home runs in a single season for the second time in Phillies history. These guys look all business and I love it. The magic number is nine right now (or seven for those of us that bet the over).
Topper is such a Canadian. Only a Canadian could come up with something like, “you’re a gift.” He’s the serious dad that hates public speaking and has to give a speech at his daughter’s wedding. You know the guy. The grizzled, blue collar worker that paid for the wedding off the back of double shifts delivering packages for UPS. Just building up that savings and 401k year after year so he and his wife can enjoy North Wildwood for two weeks a summer after retirement. You’ve never heard him say more than five words in your life. You don’t know if he has any interests. And now all eyes are on him. He thanks everyone for coming, says something innocuous about the groom that he remembers when they first met, and then blurts out something to his daughter like, “you’re a gift.” It’s the most emotion 90% of the room has ever seen from him. The speech is over after 90 seconds and you get to go back to shoveling your Caesar salad down your gullet before the Best Man/Maid of Honor deliver a speech five times as long and half as good.
I can’t get over the, “you’re a gift.” Topper with a cold chill down his spine just wracking his brain for the right words, and honestly, he chose them perfectly. That’s why everyone in the clubhouse started busting out laughing. They know he hates public speaking and wanted to get that over with ASAP. He needed the right words and “you’re a gift” was the best one he could think of. So Canadian. It’s amazing and makes you fall in love with his hayseed demeanor like Charlie Manuel before him. This will sound stupid, but I feel like I got a sense of what that locker room is like just from that 30-second video. These guys feel locked in, but also humble. Schwarbs and Stott don’t even want the accolades, they just want to go out there and play ball. This team is peaking at the right moment. Harrison Bader has been a godsend, the platoon is platooning, and the pitching is coming through. Get the boys healthy and it’s full speed ahead come October. These guys can be humble all they want because Phillies fans will be cocky for them:
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com