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Kyle Schwarber’s Monster Grand Slam Was His Sickest Home Run of the Year
By Matt Schultz
Published:
If you didn’t watch the Phillies’ 11-7 win over the Astros on Wednesday night, allow me to catch you up with the big highlight you’ll want to see:
Holy shit. This has to be Kyle’s sickest homer of the year. What a moment. Listen to the crowd:
Also look at his swing. Look how nice and easy this swing is. He had to reach out and get his barrel pretty low to meet the ball, and he still rocketed it out of the park with just one arm. Looks like a warmup golf swing. Looks like a casual wiffle ball swing. How did he get this ball to go 408 feet with this laid-back-as-hell follow-through?
Also look at him posing after the swing — just holding the bat straight up with one arm, knowing it was gone, watching it soar all the way out of the park. So damn sick:
This is the image. This is the Kyle Schwarber Statue image. The pose is too cool to not make a statue of it. I’m not interested in arguing over whether or not he’ll deserve one when his Phillies career is over. It’s not about “deserve.” Not with a picture that rules this much. With a moment that looked this awesome, the decision has been made for us. Kyle needs a statue, and it needs to be of him doing this:
Wednesday night’s grand slam was Kyle’s 44th home run of the year (which leads MLB by three; Pete Crow-Armstrong is currently in second with 41) and his fourth homer in five games. During this stretch, Schwarber is batting .350/.435/.950 (1.385 OPS) with 7 hits, 7 runs scored, and 9 RBIs.
The guy is on a tear, and on top of it, he’s acting cool as hell. Let’s hope he keeps it going. Keep doing sick stuff, Kyle. We’ll make multiple statues of you if we have to. There’s no statue limit. We can make a bunch.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com