Phillies

Ruben Amaro, Moron

By Kyle Scott

Published: Sep 10th, 2014 · 1:12 PM EDT

---

Hey, it’s been a while since we fucked with Ruben Amaro. So let’s do that.

Amaro, Howie Roseman, Ron Hextall and Devils CEO Scott O’Neil (presumably Sam Hinkie wasn’t present because the moon is in the third house or some shit) were at the Rothman Institute this morning for a panel on something something Philadelphia sports. AP reporter Dan Gelston was in attendance and has a whole bunch of interesting quotes from the event (conveniently aggregated after the jump), but when it came to Amaro… well, he’s dumb:

Heh. Pick up a stat sheet. Congratulations, grandpa. Do they tune in to rivals’ games on the radio, too? The whole point of analytics is to basically do away with the traditional stat sheet of raw, results data and compute it into meaningful metrics. So perhaps Hinkie didn’t show simply because he would’ve felt the need to PUNCH RUBEN AMARO IN THE FRACKING FACE for such a statement, but I’m just speculating. Anyway, Amaro says the Phillies use analytics because a couple of old dudes read the box score. Cool. At least they’re rethinking some of their old baseball ideas (they’ll read the box scores on their Apple Watches!).

Some fun highlights from Gelston, after the jump.

http://storify.com/crossingbroad/sports