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I Regret to Inform You That Jalen Brunson Refusing to Sign a Giants Helmet Was Pretty Cool
By Matt Schultz
Published:
I’ve been pretty outspoken on my Jalen Brunson opinion: I do not like the guy. I’m a Saint Joe’s alum who hates Villanova. I’m a Sixers fan who hates the Knicks. I’m a Philly native who wants New York fans unhappy at all times. I’m a defender of ethical hoops who hates foul grifting bullshit. I think Brunson’s overrated. I think he’s a crybaby. I think his dad seems like a weird guy. I think it’s fishy that he took less than the max on his last extension and believe it should be investigated by the league. I think his podcast is ass. I think his head is too big. I am not a fan and never have been.
Then I saw this video of him refusing to sign a Giants helmet because he’s a Birds fan, and I can’t believe I’m saying it… but I am reconsidering my position:
BRUNSON: “Wait wait wait wait wait… I am not signing that. That’s against my religion. You’re gonna make me sign a Giants helmet? Can I write ‘Go Birds’ on it? I’m gonna write ‘Go Birds’ on it.“
WOMAN: “Can we convert you (to Giants fandom)?“
BRUNSON: “No.”
Hell yeah.
Look, I’m not pumped about it. I don’t want to approve of anything Jalen Brunson says or does. But you can’t watch this video and not think, “Hell yeah.” At least I can’t. This is pretty good stuff. I like Jalen’s conviction here. I like how fast he said “No” when the woman asked if they could convert him. I like that by signing “Go Birds” on that Giants helmet, you gotta imagine its value as a collector’s item drops, or at least becomes mildly annoying to a New York fan buying it. For someone I’ve long believed to be very corny, these were a few cool few moments here.
Which has me wondering… Have I been wrong about Jalen Brunson this whole time? Have I let my Saint Joe’s allegiance and Sixers homerism get in the way of rooting for a likable underdog with Philly ties? Someone who outworks everyone in any room he’s in, a bring-your-lunchpail kind of guy, a gritty player whose only advantage is simply wanting to win more than his opponents – isn’t that the exact kind of person I’d usually root for? Should I actually become a Jalen Brunson fan? Could that possible?
Nah. That guy sucks. This changes nothing. Overrated-ass, corny-ass Brunson. He’ll be out of the league in two years, Celtics Isaiah Thomas-style. Book it. Too small. Grew up rich, too. People forget that, but he did. Plus Nova. Fuck ‘em No way.
Probably doesn’t even know much about the Birds… Performative fan… That’s what I’m going to choose to believe…
Kinkead: Of course, Brunson will always be remembered as a Villanova Wildcat. Not a New York Knick.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com