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Jaylen Brown Calls Jayson Tatum a Hufflepuff, Which I’m Pretty Sure is Highly Disrespectful in Harry Potter Vernacular
By Matt Schultz
Published:
I’m enjoying the Jaylen Brown vs. Jayson Tatum beef stuff. I’m seeing a lot of people online complain about it, and I really don’t get it. Why complain? What’s the problem? We all sports-hate Jayson Tatum. Jaylen Brown also seems to sports-hate Jayson Tatum. Our guy is taking shots at their guy. What’s wrong with talking a very small, innocent amount of shit? Isn’t that a good thing? To insult a guy we don’t like in a subtle way that no one can get all that mad about? Isn’t that fun? I think so. I’m having fun.
And regardless of whether the fans like it, it doesn’t seem like Jaylen is going to stop his shot-taking anytime soon. On Thursday, JB appeared on The Young Man and the Three podcast with Daniel Radcliffe (???) and slammed Jayson Tatum as being a Hufflepuff, which I’m pretty sure is a big insult in the world of Harry Potter:
BROWN: “It’s a couple Hufflepuffs, like even on my past teams. I think JT might be a Hufflepuff. You know what I mean? Like —
TOMMY ALTER: “What’s Derrick White?”
BROWN: “Derrick White’s Hufflepuff for sure too.”
To be clear, I’m not a Harry Potter expert, but I do have a working knowledge. I read the first five books as a kid and I’ve seen the first three movies. So I know some stuff. I know about Hagrid. I know Ron. Malfoy is bad. Harry’s cousin is rude and heavyset. I got the basics down. And knowing what I know, I feel comfortable saying that JB is not using “Hufflepuff” as a term of endearment. He’s using it as an insult.
For those who aren’t well-versed in Harry Potter stuff, all you need to know here is that Hufflepuff is one of the four houses that the Sorting Hat places students in when they first arrive at Hogwarts (laughing a little re-reading the sentence I just typed, it sounds so lame when you explain it). The “houses” are essentially dorms/clubs that you’re lumped into all throughout school. The Sorting Hat (a hat that talks, elderly-seeming, brusque) places you in a house based on your personality, which is deduces by sitting on your head during the Sorting Ceremony.
Harry Potter is in Gryffindor (the cool house). Malfoy is in Slytherin (the bad guy house, snake-themed). The other two houses are Ravenclaw (I don’t know anything about them) and Hufflepuff (where Jayson Tatum would be, per JB).
To my memory, there’s nothing inherently bad about Hufflepuffs in the actual Harry Potter stories. They’re just mainly in the background. They do nothing heroic. They do nothing at all, really. They’re on the sidelines. They’re bystanders. Spectators.
In other words, in a way, they can be seen as soft. Also, the word sounds soft. “Hufflepuff.” Just seems to lend itself to soft-type insults.
And that’s what I’m pretty sure JB is getting at here. He’s calling Tatum soft. A bitch-ass kind of guy, if you will. I feel good about my read on this. I’m seeing a bunch of people on X agree with my assessment:
Oh he called em the biggest bitch!!!
— Ronny🇵🇸🇲🇽 (@Ronnycast95) October 30, 2026
He dissing if you know HP ball
— Dave (@david_vonmering) October 30, 2026
And again, I’m pro JB insulting Jayson Tatum like this. It’s good stuff. It doesn’t seem to affect Jaylen’s play at all, and he seems to like doing it, so where’s the harm? Also, Celtics fans clearly hate it. They get so upset over every passive-aggressive shot JB takes. Look how mad they’re reacting, it’s awesome:
This dude is actually obsessed with Tatum
— ttwfo (@tooeasyy11) October 30, 2026
Why you can't go outside and NOT talk about Jayson Tatum @FCHWPO 🤬
— Tic Tic ☘️⏲️ (@Stacey197205) October 30, 2026
So glad this dude is gone. Cornball to the highest degree
— Rueben Randle (@Mustardsportz) October 30, 2026
It's crazy hes throwing so much shade and subliminals but hasn't truly said what hes upset about with his chest lol that's what im annoyed by, he also ducked JTs calls, watched preseason game from locker room and didnt say a word when JT was warming up…that's soft to me
— SOX IN 6 (@ParquetPride17) October 29, 2026
He's the one running around gossiping like a beta🤷♂️
— dalton warmbrodt (@WarmbrodtDalton) October 30, 2026
Please keep this stuff coming, Jaylen. Excited for the next children’s-book-themed Tatum insult.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com