News

STOP THE STEAL! COUNT ALL VOTES!

By Kyle Pagan

Published: Jan 6th, 2023 · 1:31 PM EST

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If you didn’t see it, Bea Forman at the Inky wrote a story on “Philadelphians we loved last year”. I was fortunate enough to be a part of the “Super Fan” category with Dunphy, Monty G, Marybelle Alston, and the Sixers Sixth Man. Immediately I knew Dunphy was going to be my biggest competition. When you’re going up against four others and three of them don’t know how to work an iPhone, it’s not really a fair fight. I was leading most of Thursday, but overnight the mail-in votes from Bridesburg must’ve came in HEAVY on Dunphy:

https://twitter.com/kylepaganCB/status/1611411496197570560?s=20&t=7L-XlCtvTmaXERT3sf3eRQ

 

STOP THE STEAL! COUNT ALL THE VOTES! IF YOU’RE IN LINE STAY IN LINE!

I’m already fighting an uphill battle, going up against a guy who has the city’s most beloved mascot decorated around his belly button:

Meet Rob Dunphy, the ultimate Philly sports fan. @Eagles | @gmfb pic.twitter.com/zn6DHx2JWM

— NFL Network (@nflnetwork) October 11, 2022

Now I gotta deal with ballot stuffing? Maybe shaved Kinkead can look into it for me. Tell me this doesn’t look like the dude who knows a thing or two about election fraud* –

In the end should I waste time caring about an arbitrary competition that isn’t going to matter a month from now? Absolutely not. Do I have an ego? Absolutely. So if you’re thinking to yourself, “Kyle there’s more to life, go outside, touch grass,” My rebuttal is that I have the keys to the Crossing Broad Wordpress and you don’t so…

VOTE HERE!

*Kinkead – with the goatee I look like an Ozzfest 2001 attendee