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The Taylor Swift Tomato Pie is in High Demand
By Kyle Pagan
Published:

According to Conshy Bakery, their most requested pie is this Taylor Swift design:
The most requested tomato pie for Sunday
…#SwiftBowl #SuperBowl pic.twitter.com/9cSyUAOqBo
— Conshy Bakery (@ConshyBakery) February 5, 2024
How many people will storm out of their Super Bowl party because there is a Taylor Swift tomato pie there? There’s gotta be one or two right? If you bitched about TSwift ruining football because she was on screen for 44 seconds, now is the perfect time to put your money where your mouth is. Flip a table, rip the TV off the wall, tell the kids Santa isn’t real, and ruin everyone’s night. If you don’t do any of that, you’re a fraud. Punt that tomato pie into the street and have Alexa play Olivia Rodrigo.
The good news is you might not be looked at as the bad guy any longer after what happened at The Grammys. You gotta take that into account. The TSwift haters are getting their pound of flesh right now after she outright snubbed Celine Dion:
Jesus. Taylor Swift snubbed the shit out of Celine Dion. pic.twitter.com/SCljbmVKMw
— Kyle Pagan (@CBKylePagan) February 5, 2024
Now, a lot of people said Taylor didn’t want to touch Celine because she’s suffering from “stiff person syndrome,” an autoimmune disease that makes your muscles cramp up. No one’s saying you got to give her a bear hug, but I mean you couldn’t at least acknowledge the person who gave us My Heart Will Go On? I mean Celine Dion sat there looking awkward as hell. It probably took everything she had in her to get there. We haven’t seen her in years and instead she got nothing!
Well maybe Taylor forgot? Did she? She didn’t forget to hug Trevor Noah AND the presenter when she won her first award of the night:

That presenter is a NOBODY and she even got more love than Celine Dion.
The devil works hard, but TSwift’s PR team works even harder. Her team probably held Celine Dion against her will until Taylor was able to sacrifice a couple seconds for a photo. Look at this fake candid photo:
Celine Dion and Taylor Swift backstage at the #GRAMMYs. pic.twitter.com/cCHxfgzJ89
— Entertainment Tonight (@etnow) February 5, 2024
I want to puke. This shit is so fake and I like Taylor Swift. But I call it like I see it, and Taylor Swift snubbed Celine Dion. End of story.
If you want to know how an icon honors an icon look no further:
“This MC is gonna stand for this MC” Miley Cyrus & Mariah Carey is the duo we didn’t know we needed!! #GRAMMYs pic.twitter.com/by4hw9EGn3
— ę ąęŞ®ęŞ€ęŞ–á¦“ ✬ (@cinnamongerru) February 5, 2024
I had all the perfect things to say but none of them could come out in this moment of shock. I’m happy they didn’t… because (thankfully) prepared perfection just isn’t my story. Life is so much more exciting this way.
Thank you @mariahcarey for being so iconic. MCxMC4EVR pic.twitter.com/G3KT7hLQDe
— Miley Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) February 5, 2024
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com