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DeSean Jaccson Judged the Miss Universe Pageant
By Jim Adair
Published:
Beauty pageants are weird. Women who are in a contest to be the best-looking are asked to solve world hunger in 30 seconds right after they model a bikini. It’s just odd. Sexy, but odd. And last night’s Miss Universe pageant was no less odd, because it was judged by DeSean Jaccson.
Joining an illustrious expert judging panel which included Giancarlo Stanton, Kristin Cavallari and Rob Dyrdek, DeSean was tasked with helping find the one woman who could officially represent us as the spokesperson for the Universe should we ever encounter beings from another dimension (Neutrinos?!?). They chose Miss Colombia. Manny Pacquiao asked Miss USA about terrorism. All weird, but still better than the Pro Bowl.
[Editor’s note: Alternate version of this post: Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyy got dat fine CO Luuum Beyon ass on lock str8 representn dis one verse !!]
When he's not writing about sports here or ranting about them on Twitter, Jim is probably watching X-Files on Netflix or drinking a beer somewhere. Jim has nothing against hockey, it's just not his style. He once met Duce Staley at a Sixers game.