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I Uncovered the Dirty Truth, that the Savannah Banana Television Faceplant was Fake
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
The Savannah Bananas are in Philadelphia this weekend at Citizens Bank Park for two sold out nights. They sent one of their players to CNN on Thursday to do a flip and I still don’t understand how he didn’t land it. It was so bad I’m starting to think it was a fake:
He had it! Am I wrong? It looked like we had a full revolution and all of a sudden he just fell flat on his face. Was this fake? A marketing stunt for the Savannah Bananas to go viral and remind you they’re on a country-wide tour coming to a city near you? This stinks! Especially when you do a deep dive on this guy.
His name is Coach RAC and he’s done thousands of flips in his day. In high-pressure environments. In studios like the one CNN has. He’s on video catching baseballs doing flips:
Flips are his thing! You don’t just wake up one day and forget how to land flips. It would be like MJ waking up one day and forgetting how to play basketball. Thank god there’s another angle. There’s no single-bullet theory they’re going to sneak by us on this one:
Why did he untuck the legs when he was about to land? WHY DID HE UNTUCK THE LEGS? Because it was all fake! I’m telling you! I Zaprudered the footage like any good journalist would. We’ve got great height immediately. Some nice torque. This should be an easy one:
Now he’s hit the halfway point and we’re still rising. Knees are perfectly tucked and he looks like he’ll have enough rotation and then some:
How the hell did we go from perfect to this? What’re we doing?? This is not how a professional backflipper backflips!
It only got worse from there:
I’m telling you people, this is a publicity stunt. You can’t go from a perfectly-executed backflip to a faceplant unless something terrible happened or you’re trying to go viral. You just can’t. Maybe a novice would, but not a guy whose job it is to backflip. This poor guy is risking it all just so the Bananas can sell more tickets. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. It’s the Wild West out there and if you can stay in the algorithm then you’re the one winning in the end. This guy is going to get a standing O in the ballpark this weekend. Women will be weeping like a war hero just got home and he’ll have the battle scars to prove it. But I’ve uncovered the Banana’s dirty little secret and I’m afraid my life might be in danger. As a guy that has never once done a backflip I know when a backflip is fake and this was a fake, but in the end there’s no such thing as bad press and now he gets to make another TikTok about it and go even more viral:
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com