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Move Over Delco Pooper, it’s the Delco Pisser’s Town Now

By Kyle Pagan

Published: Aug 5th, 2025 · 1:35 PM EDT

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UPDATE: The heat was too hot for the Delco Pisser and it looks like he deleted his TikTok account or he was suspended. Pissarus flew to close to the sun.

I don’t know what is in the water over in Delco, but apparently it’s hydrating people. Everyone remembers the Delco Pooper after she crapped on an unsuspecting Hyundai. Now we have the Delco Pisser, streaming at a high school near you. Every night at 10 p.m. he leaves his mark and is now up 4-zip on Delco. His victims so far have been Springfield, Ridley, Upper Darby, and Radnor High Schools:

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Delco continues to be the most special place on Earth.

Now we have to wonder who, what, and why he is doing this. Is he a disgruntled former student who flamed out in the rigorous Delco school system? Is he actually a Montco or Chester County citizen framing Delco? Why the Dexter sound over all of his videos? Will this breed copycats? Is he related to the Delco Pooper? Who is going to put a stop to the Delco Pisser’s reign of terror? Will it be Garnet Valley? Haverford High? Monsignor Bonner? Or will it be a dark horse like Notre Dame or Archbishop Carroll?

I hate to call the Pisser a fraud, but I only care about two things right now: signing Kyle Schwarber and integrity, and I’m going to need to see more. This could easily be replicated by sticking a pen in the top of a water bottle and simulating a stream. Anyone with an IQ around 100 did this in high school. But I see no shaft. Until I see shaft I can’t take the Delco Pisser seriously. Have some respect for the greats that came before you. The Delco Pooper was as authentic as it gets and the Swiss Cheese Pervert laid the ground work. Is it too much to ask for a shadowy outline of this guy’s cash and prizes before we give him his due? I’ve been sitting here for the last hour studying the pee very intently. The stream is impressive, but either this is the most hydrated guy in Delco or he’s got a Poland Spring in his hand. There isn’t a speck of yellow in that stream. We might not know if the Delco Pisser is legit until we have snow on the ground, but how long can he keep this up?

Another thing I’m more worried about this kid getting caught and having to register as a sex offender. I’m pretty sure you can’t just whip your dick out at a school without some charges being pressed. I want to think someone wouldn’t be stupid enough to do this with cameras all over the building, but in 2025 that would be asking too much. This is basically what happened to Charlie Day’s character in Horrible Bosses:

How long until we get a stakeout at one of these schools? This has to be the Super Bowl for school security.