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Nascar Driver Claims His Ex-girlfriend, Whom He Allegedly Beat in His Motorhome, Is a Trained Assassin (No, Seriously)
By Jim Adair
Published:
This is Patricia Driscoll:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MAbYIrniY4
Deadspin couldn’t find out why that video was made, though it seems like it was Driscoll’s attempt at pitching a reality show about her insane life. Driscoll is many things. She is the president of the Armed Forces Foundation. She is a mom. She’s five-foot-zero-dark-thirty. She owns Frontline Defense Systems — a defense contractor that provides equipment to the government and the private sector. She is an author. She is the ex-girlfriend of NASCAR driver Kurt Busch. And, according to Busch, she is also a trained assassin.
In a court hearing regarding a protective order — because Driscoll accused Busch of “smashing her head into a motorhome wall three times” — Busch claimed that his now ex is a trained and experienced assassin. According to the AP:
Busch said Driscoll repeatedly asserted her assassin status and claimed the work took her on missions across Central and South America and Africa. He recounted a time they were in El Paso, Texas, when Driscoll left in camouflage gear only to return later wearing a trench coat over an evening gown covered with blood.
Busch said that, a day earlier, Driscoll told him she was a mercenary who killed people for a living and had shown him pictures of bodies with gunshot wounds.
Kurt Busch, NASCAR driver accused of beating his ex-girlfriend in motorhome on infield of Dover Downs Speedway, accused said ex-girlfriend, a defense contractor, of being an off-the-books governmental killer. Ain’t that America. Busch continued, according to the News Journal:
Driscoll’s alleged background as a trained assassin who had experience killing drug lords via long-range sniper rifles and close combat tactics – including the use of knives and poison – became a major talking point during the latter stages of the hearing.
On both Monday and Tuesday, Busch said he still believes Driscoll is a trained assassin, despite some of his doubts and questioning by friends.
This sounds like the plot to a very terrible (but very successful) Lifetime Original Movie. And why? Because it basically is. “Driscoll called Busch’s assertion ‘ludicrous,’ saying he took it ‘straight from a fictional movie script’ she has been working on for eight years and that he has proofread.”
But it’s not all coming from Busch. ESPN:
Last month, Michael Doncheff, who served as a personal assistant to Busch and Driscoll, said an ailing Driscoll told him in September that she had been picked up by a big man and slammed to the ground while helping round up immigrants at the Mexican border, a story Doncheff considered “far-fetched.”
Doncheff said Driscoll also asserted that she was a trained assassin for the U.S. government and once told him, “I take down foreign governments. I own Washington.”
During the hearing, which stretched over four days, neither Driscoll nor her attorney refuted the testimony.
This… this might be why the terrorists hate us.
When he's not writing about sports here or ranting about them on Twitter, Jim is probably watching X-Files on Netflix or drinking a beer somewhere. Jim has nothing against hockey, it's just not his style. He once met Duce Staley at a Sixers game.