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NFL Suspends a Couple of Referees for Acting Like Jabronies
By Matt Schultz
Published:
Today is a massive day for the anti-ref community all across the globe: According to ESPN, the NFL has suspended two refs for unprofessional conduct toward players. This is good. This, at long last, is justice.
Here’s what happened:
Referee Adrian Hill
Hill will serve a two-game suspension for his reaction to getting accidentally knocked over by Eric Wilson during Week 4’s matchup between the Dolphins and Vikings. After taking the spill, Hill stood up and started screaming at the Vikings linebacker like an absolute weirdo spaz, pointing and flailing and probably spitting little droplets of spittle onto Wilson’s face as he lost his mind:
A truly infuriating watch. How is the ref gonna be mad at the player here? Get the hell out of the way. This is the NFL. The players are huge. They’re playing football. You should be agile enough to not get trampled, and your ego shouldn’t be so fragile that you have to stand up and bark at Wilson because you’re embarrassed. Enjoy your suspension and docked pay, numb nuts.
Line Judge Jeff Seeman
Seeman will serve a one-game suspension after he was caught on-camera yelling “Fuck you” to Trey McBride during the Giants vs. Cardinals game on Sunday:
This video is quintessential ref shit. This is the exact attitude every ref in the world has. Being an aggressive little troll for no reason, acting with palpable contempt toward players and coaches, believing they are the unquestioned law of the land, and as such can do and say whatever the hell they want. Which is why today is such a glorious day. Refs are finally feeling the consequences for this wild-ass behavior.
We all know refs have been stepping out of line for what feels like hundreds of years. By and large, every ref at every level in every sport is a dickhead. They put on their little whistles and the power trip begins. It transforms them The Mask-style. The moment the little rope necklace goes over their heads, they morph from quiet, unremarkable, short-ish guys into the loudest, most aggro teacher from your middle school who weirdly liked to yell at children. They puff out their chests. They try to talk with a deeper voice than usual. They reprimand players like they’re misbehaving dogs. And they love to do it.
That’s what’s always bothered me most. You can tell that refs genuinely enjoy arguing with players and steamrolling over anything and everything they say. They enjoy getting the last word. They enjoy zinging their little quips and telling players to shut up and warning them and generally acting like players should reverently bow their heads in their presence. I’ve seen this many a time in JCC basketball. I will not name names because I don’t want those refs seeing this blog and then giving me an unfair whistle, but rest assured, I see this behavior every Tuesday night. These guys are menaces. They’re out of control. And now, finally, there is justice.
Thank you, NFL, for doing the right thing here. Here’s to hoping refs everywhere will now think twice before doing their usual douchebag stuff, and that the JCC refs do not see this blog. I have a game tonight.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com