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Philly Thrift Store Basically Suggesting that Saquon Barkley is the Flash
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
This sign outside the Philly AIDS Thrift was asking people if they could beat Saquon Barkley in a 100 yard dash. OP got there early, but I hope there were hundreds of tallies in the “yes” column because this is the easiest yes of all-time:
I would DUST Saquon with a 15 second head start. I could be carrying Jake Elliott on my back and I still think I’d win if you gave me 15 seconds.
If someone has an update, send it over when you get a chance. I need to see how insecure the city of Philadelphia is. We already have one sad schlub with zero self confidence that responded to the question. I mean, Usain Bolt runs 9.5 seconds. As long as you can book it 100 yards in under 24 seconds you should be good, and I’m pretty sure some people could speed-walk the entire length of a football field in that time. There are children that could beat Saquon in a 100 yard dash with a 15 second head start. I could beat Saquon running backwards. By the time I’m across the finish line he’d only be at the 40. Maybe a 5 second head start I’m at the 50-ish and it’s a photo finish between he and I. It’s more likely he dusts me by 10-15 yards, but you can’t teach speed and all you have to do is look at me closing the gap at last year’s Eagles Media Charity game to know I’m quick like that. Short choppy steps that makes it look like I’m running away from the bad guys in Scooby Doo:
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com