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Put VJ Edgecombe in a Hyperbaric Chamber and Leave Him There

When VJ Edgecombe injured his thumb during his summer league debut, the jokes were more prevalent than flat IPA at a failing microbrewery. Surely it wasn’t a big deal, right? Just a thumb sprain. It’s not like a laceration on the thumb would result in a brain-eating amoeba entering his bloodstream and ending his rookie season….. right? But would you know it, right on cue, we got the team update on Wednesday night:
How can you not laugh? Or cry. We’ve all seen this movie before. The thumb sprain is going to turn into a staph infection and then he forgets how to shoot free throws. He develops trench foot and gets a DNP – might need an amputation. “Will be reevaluated in two weeks,” is the PR team update, which then becomes four weeks, to eight weeks, to his entire career as he joins Joel Embiid and Podcast P on the bench while some guy who wasn’t on the team in October launches 27 shots a game.
First it was Embiid with the navicular bone. Then Ben Simmons, a Jones fracture. Markelle Fultz had Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and Zhaire Smith was almost killed by seasoned chicken. Jared McCain tore his meniscus. The Sixers rookie curse is very real. This isn’t child’s play we’re talking about. This is some serious voodoo, like the kind Pagan and Big Dom used in New Orleans to help the Eagles win the Super Bowl. The only way to avoid catastrophe is to lock VJ Edgecombe in a hyperbaric chamber like it’s the bathroom from the gambling scene in A Bronx Tale.
Leave him in there! (until the season opener)
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com