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Ranking the Top 11 Embarrassing WIP Takes of the Last Year
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It’s the start of summer! We’re in that delightfully boring time of the sports year where we’re post NFL draft, pre-Eagles training camp, with nothing but the Phillies and wispy rumors of the 76ers draft plans to sustain us until things get interesting again.
It’s a tough content time for anyone in the sports media game, especially the #1 sports talk station in the city. You’d think it would be the perfect time for 94 WIP hosts to get creative, to delve into topics and ideas they’ve wanted to experiment with to keep their shows fresh, to take some risks.
But this is Philadelphia sports talk! To hell with creativity, it’s time to scrape the mold off the bread that’s been sitting in the the back of the refrigerator since last year and build an entire week’s worth of shows around LISTS. MY GOD, THE LISTS. But not just any top-10 list, will do. No no, these are TOP 11 lists… one more than the traditional 10, you see, allowing us all to be in on the joke and frivolity without acknowledging how hackneyed this all is. A little knowing wink and chuckle to the audience that it’s ok to do the same old horseshit because they KNOW how cliched it all is.
And what, pray tell, are we ranking? Why, the top-11 athletes in Philadelphia, of course, a topic never once before discussed on Philadelphia airwaves.
I’m kicking myself for not thinking of that GOLD first, so I’ll do the next best thing… I’ll piggyback on their million-dollar idea with MY OWN. It’s a copycat league, gang! A top-12 list of the greatest Philadelphia athletes of all time? No, that’s far too obvious. A top-12 list of the greatest Marxist doctrines? Nyet, too much of an exploitation of the proletariat.
So we’ll settle on the next best thing… a top-11 list of the most humiliating WIP takes from 2024-2025! Now look, I could have done a top-11 list of the most humiliating WIP takes of all time, but the idea of scouring through social media for the worst Angelo Cataldi opinions of all time made my nose start bleeding and it WOULD NOT stop.
And hey, just a note to any personality who may be included on this list. Just remember, this isn’t rage bait! This is a list of bad takes in the middle of June in Philadelphia! If any of this, even a list you disagree with, is causing you rage, what I want you to do is seek help. There’s something wrong, I’m not making fun of that, it’s horrible, I wish there wasn’t something wrong for you. That seems like a you issue.
Honorable Mention
Alright, I’ll be a fair guy! We all have awful takes, let’s check this one out…
Ewwwww. This idiot absolutely changed his tune as the Eagles went on a historic run for the rest of the year and won the Super Bowl in convincing fashion. I’m sure he hopes nobody remembers how stupid this take was, especially when he declared this Eagles team as the most dominant he’s ever seen later in the year and how great watching the team was all season.
What a two-ton loser.
Let’s get to the list.
Take 11: Joe Giglio Declares 2024 Team Best Phillies Squad He’s Ever Seen… in May.
Ok, on the surface this isn’t TOO awful. Sure, Giglio made the declaration on May 7th, 2024, when the team still had FIVE months remaining in the season, but they were 26-11! They were rolling, in the midst of a great streak, and SURELY better than any other team in Phillies history.
But what makes this eligible to be on the list? Joe’s declaration came just three weeks after he said the Phillies just simply didn’t have a good lineup. That’s quite the turnaround, from having a piece of shit lineup to become the BEST TEAM IN PHILLIES HISTORY. Must have been some hell of a training montage to get to that point.
We all know what happened. They fell apart in the second half of the season, Joe probably floated the idea of trading Bryce Harper and Trea Turner for Juan Soto, and his declaration of them being the best team in Phillies history dissipated into the ether.
Great stuff, Joe! Way to kick off the list strong.
Take 10: Holding Bryce Harper Accountable
There’s absolutely nothing sports talk hosts love more than holding someone accountable. WHO IS ACCOUNTABLE FOR THIS? THEY MUST BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.
God bless Spike Eskin for holding Bryce Harper accountable in a game last June when he didn’t run at a dead 100% sprint out of the box and had to settle for a double instead of a triple in the late innings. The Phillies would strand him (after a long fly ball that would have scored him from third) and lose the game, but at least Brett HELD HARPER ACCOUNTABLE:
Harper, by all accounts, is one of the hardest working players in all of baseball. But god forbid he settled for a double instead of a triple in a game in June. They only play 162 of these! HUSTLE MOTHER FUCKER. Middle-aged radio hosts need to see tremendous amounts of hustle at all times as much as they need to predict wins and losses for the Eagles when the schedule comes out every year. It’s in their blood.
He must have had a really bad month to get this much of a tongue-lashing from Spike, ehh? True. He only hit .374 with 7 home runs, 16 RBIs, and 20 runs in 23 games that month.
What a bum.
Take Nine: Joe Giglio Demands Eagles Draft a Quarterback
Seeing a pattern here? This is not the last take you’ll see on this list from a WIP host and the Eagles quarterback position…nor will it be the last time you see Giglio.
His latest? Floating the idea the Eagles should use one of their second round picks on Alabama quarterback Jalen Milroe just three months after Jalen Hurts won a Super Bowl….and Super Bowl MVP in the process.
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY GOOD QUARTERBACKS. After all, you never know what Milroe could turn into…he could be the next Jalen Hurts!
Howie Roseman thankfully isn’t a brain-dead WIP listener and instead drafted standout Texas safety Andrew Mukuba, eschewing the notion that the Eagles really are a quarterback factory and instead settling for a player that may actually contribute next season.
Take Eight: Jalen Hurts Just Isn’t That Good
Joe DeCamara makes a strong debut on the list with a take that certainly wouldn’t be a precursor for things to come!
You know the rest of the story. He would only go on to lead the Eagles to their second Super Bowl in three seasons, win Super Bowl MVP, and narrowly keep his job after the Eagles passed on Milroe.
I’m sure Joe won’t have anymore terrible Hurts takes you’ll wish you could forget on this list.
Take Seven: Rob Thomson on the Hot Seat Before Season Begins
Rob Thomson is 292-214 as the manager of the Phillies. The Fightins have been to the postseason the last three years. He’s beloved by his players and doesn’t seem to be all that incompetent steering the ship.
But is that good enough for ol’ Joe? Oh my, absolutely not. Giglio planted Thomson FIRMLY on the hot seat prior to the start of the season. GOTTA SEE MORE FROM THE SKIPPER.
Had the Phillies started slow? SO LONG, FUCKFACE. Giglio absolutely needed them to get out to a hot start so he could declare them the best Phillies team he’s ever seen.
Also, I swear I’m not picking on Joe for any reason. I polled a number of sports talk aficionados for this post and these were the most common takes…the vast majority came from three hosts on the station, Joe being one of them.
Sorry, Joe! Love you miss you.
Take Six: Bryce Harper is Soft Because He Didn’t Force His Way Into a Game
A rare part-time WIP host with a tremendously awful take cracks the list! Tom Kelly, a late night and fill-in host, shared this hilarious gem from August of last year:
Yeah, why didn’t Harper catch any heat for not dunking Thompson’s head in the toilet until he stopped breathing so he could run up to the plate to pinch hit? WHAT GIVES?! That’s what real leaders do, gang, they show up their managers and their teammates for the chance at a Hollywood ending.
“Why didn’t Bryce Harper hit a home run into the bank of lights at the top of Citizens Bank Park, exploding them in the process, showering the diamond with sparks before rounding the bases in slow motion? Lack of leadership from the supposed face of the franchise.”
Great job, Tom! You were able to deliver just a truly terrible take and keep up with some of the other WIP big boys. Keep it up and you’ll have a permanent afternoon spot in no time.
Take Five: Nick Sirianni Must Apologize
Oh my fucking god, JOE GIGLIO AGAIN?! The guy’s a complete machine, just firing off terrible, TERRIBLE takes all last year. Not even AI can churn out the number of bad takes per show that Giglio has spewed forth from his maw. It’s a modern day John Henry vs. the machine conundrum.
The latest atrocity to humanity is Joe’s absolute demand that Nick Sirianni apologize for his actions during a Cleveland Browns game or he be fired:
If you don’t recall, Sirianni got into it with a few fans after the Eagles defeated the Browns last season. Was it embarrassing? Yeah probably. Worth freaking out about? Not in the slightest.
But Joe wasn’t having it. His honor besmirched, he demanded heads roll! Kids watch this game for fucks sake, WHAT KIND OF AN EXAMPLE IS HE SETTING?!
I…I don’t know if I can write about the rest of these takes. I’m woozy. Is it normal to hear the cries of long-deceased loved ones ringing through my head? I’m sure it’s fine.
Take Four: Jalen Hurts Just a Guy
The rest of these are Jalen Hurts related, who seems to be a magnet for the worst possible opinions this city has ever seen. This one comes courtesy of Spike Eskin, who declared Jalen Hurts needed to prove he’s “more than just a guy” during the playoff run.
You know, more than just a guy for the quarterback who already brought the Eagles to the Super Bowl in 2022, who threw for nearly 600 yards in three games with three touchdowns, and also ran for 143 yards and five touchdowns in the postseason. Oh yeah, and outplayed Patrick Maholmes on the biggest stage of them all.
But Brett needs more, damnit!
Is this in itself all that TERRIBLE of a take? Sure it sucks, but does it deserve to be so high on our list? Well….just remember this one as we get to the two worst takes of the year.
Take Three: Jalen Hurts Not Top 11
What is it with Joes in this city and their god awful opinions on Jalen Hurts? The third worst take of the year is our most recent, vomited forth by DeCamara on the airwaves Monday.
Joe debuted his own top-11 Philadelphia athletes list and didn’t include Jalen Hurts, instead opting to include oft-injured Ranger Suarez and the likes of Zack Baun over the Super Bowl MVP:
I mean, look, I get it. It’s attention-seeking, disingenuous horseshit, designed to get people annoyed and tuning in to his next show to rave at his list. OH YOU SLY DOG. A page right out of the Cataldi playbook, say something so uproariously stupid that people have no choice but to call into your show and call you a dope. Well done sir.
But on the other hand, have some fucking shame, you goon. Cripes. At least try to hide what you’re doing.
Take Two: Prove-It Year For Jalen Hurts?
A rare WIP overall station take…is this a prove it year for Jalen Hurts?! You know, the guy that just won the Super Bowl and proved more than just about every other Eagles quarterback in the history of the team:
But you know what? Let’s hold our horses here, the jury may still be out on the reigning Super Bowl MVP! WIP is never afraid to ask the difficult questions! Jalen needs to show this city more if he wants to be held in such high esteem as guys like Donovan McNabb, Gardner Minshew, Vince Young, AJ Feeley, Sam Bradford, Kevin Kolb, Michael Vick, Bobby Hoying, Ty Detmer, Koy Detmer, Rodney Peete, Tanner McKee, Jeff Garcia, Bubby Brister, Mike McMahon, and the many other greats before him!
Take One: Fighting About Jalen Hurts One Day After Winning Super Bowl
It never could have been anything but this….WIP hosts fighting on air over Jalen Hurts being elite just ONE DAY AFTER HE WON THE MOTHER FUCKING SUPER BOWL.
I’d like to personally thank Spike Eskin for the hundreds of WIP jokes I made over the past year, about them complaining about Hurts the day after he wins a Super Bowl, a reality. I wish I could say it’s beyond belief, but looking at these takes, I’m surprised it wasn’t the entire planned topic for the show.
This should have been the easiest show in the history of the station. Take some phone calls, go over some highlights, lavish in the warm afterglow of the city’s second Super Bowl.
Instead, it devolves into an awkward fight over a quarterback that just won the Super Bowl. BUT IS HE ELITE?! Was it hilarious? Yes. Did it need to be a discussion? Absolutely not.
I can’t take remembering these anymore. This is far more than any one man should have to endure. My brain hurts. Everything smells like burnt toast and I can’t get this copper taste out of my mouth. The takes…the WIP takes are killing me and I fear an early grave. You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.
The horror….the horror.
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