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Roger Goodell is a Rat While Jeffrey Lurie Spoke About “Wet Dreams” at the Tush Push Vote

By Kyle Pagan

Published: May 21st, 2025 · 5:07 PM EDT

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I am still euphoric over the decision to not ban the Tush Push. I was so convinced it was sayonara that I’m giddy with excitement to see what they’re going to do in Lambeau this season. The Packers had all this support and even the league’s backing (we’ll get into that later) and they still couldn’t get it passed. That’s how incompetent this entire thing was. Just an absolute mess around the NFL. You knew it, I knew it, and Jeffrey Lurie knew it. He dropped his nuts on the table and in the most polite way ever looked every owner against it in the eye and called them a pussy to their faces for over an hour via Diana Russini at The Athletic (with ads):

One high-ranking league source who was in the room said, “Lurie was like a guy trying to convince his girlfriend why she shouldn’t leave him.” Throughout his pitch, Lurie was emotional, passionate and — at one point — crude. He said the fact that his team came up with a play so unstoppable that the rest of the league had no other choice but to try to ban it was “like a wet dream for a teenage boy.” Toward the end of his address, he told the assembled owners that, regardless of the day’s result, he and his franchise would walk out winners, with Super Bowl rings to show for it.

Let him COOOOOOOK! That has to be the first wet dream analogy ever in league owner meeting history. Talk your shit, Jeffrey Lurie! I love it! Birds fans love it!

Troy Vincent? Not so much via Seth Wickersham at ESPN.com:

Toward the end of a speech that lasted close to an hour, Lurie made an analogy, telling the room that regardless of whether the play was banned, it was a “win-win” for the Eagles, adding that it was “like a wet dream for a teenage boy” to create a play that was so successful that the only way for it to be stopped was for it to be banned.”

After Lurie finished speaking, Vincent chastised the Eagles owner for the “wet dream” comment, specifically for saying it in front of women in the meeting.

What a wet blanket. Oh there are women in here! There’s also Jim Irsay, Jerry Jones, and Michael Bidwell, who are far more dangerous.

And how about Jed York yapping at Lurie to wrap it up mid-speech?

An hour had passed when San Francisco 49ers owner Jed York asked Lurie “how much more s—” he needed to say.

There were a few scattered laughs, but the room was quiet and tense.

Hey Jed the two-time Super Bowl champ is talking. What the fuck have you won? He’ll ramble on for as long as he wants. He’s been a pillar of this league for 30+ years now. You were handed a franchise from your parents. Zip it. Stick to choking in Super Bowls and making noodle arm QB’s gazillionaires. The men are talking.

After Lurie was finished Jason Kelce got up and put the final touchings on the case for the Tush Push to remain. Not only are podcasters deciding elections now they’re changing the course of NFL history. If Kelce wasn’t on your Mount Rushmore of Eagles before he definitely is now.

We also got more evidence that Roger Goodell is a rat, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m not completely forgiving the Green Bay Packers. They put their stamp on this and Mark Murphy is still a Swiss cheese pervert, but my anger has shifted toward the league office for meddling in on this whole thing via Russini at The Athletic (with ads):

While the Packers were the authors of the proposal, it’s important to note that they were not the only ones in favor of banning the play — the majority of the league voted in favor of the Green Bay’s proposal. Commissioner Roger Goodell finds the play ugly.

High-ranking front-office sources from four NFL teams said they felt the Packers were used by the league because of their lack of a principal owner. With Green Bay’s name on the “tush push proposal,” other teams — and their owners — could throw their support behind it without a single owner being targeted by those who opposed it.

Goodell should be booed to oblivion when he shows up on opening night at the Linc. I want a Scabby the inflatable rat you see outside of buildings that don’t use union labor placed outside the suite that Goodell will be in. This is bullshit. Especially when he tried to pull the wool over our eyes when it didn’t go his way:

Goodell says that contrary to reports, he wasn’t for or opposed to re-seeding or the tush-push. He was just focused on holding a healthy discussion of both topics.

— Mike Jones (@ByMikeJones) May 21, 2025

The NFL is a shady shady business. What a mess. They also pressured the Lions to into proposing the overhaul of playoff seeding that was tabled. I thought the Commish was supposed to work for the owners not the other way around.