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The Life of a Troll (Tres)

By Kyle Scott

Published: May 26th, 2017 · 1:52 PM EDT

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So the comments have been a little bit of a hot mess this week, more than usual. I figured it was time to delve into some of the worst to go inside the mind of a troll.

Commenters already make up less than 1% of readers, so when I get F-bomb-laced emails from local media members losing their mind because one guy out of 30,000 wrote one thing that was offensive, I feel like it’s worth pointing out how even the number of commenters represents only a small percentage of total comments.

For instance, Jimmy Carville is also reality and he hates blacks, gays and jews and also uses a lot of F bombs commenting under the IP address 71.168.210.42:

He may be friends with Kyle’s dad has a gay son, Balls, Jim the barista, Allentown brown, Black lex luger, Chase Yutley and Dr dick— 70.15.40.94:

Podcast was #45 yesterday and fell to #70 today is also Great post, Kyle’s such a f@g, Kyle wants to do butt stuff, Gay Jay Wright, Jared from subway and Parish priest— 166.137.244.19:

Interestingly, all of those fine gentlemen sound A LOT like other folks who like to say “f@ggot” a lot. Folks like ⬆️, who comments under two different IP addresses– 76.124.161.113 and 166.137.244.66:

Notable here with regard to ⬆️ is that – and they may not realize this – they used to comment using a real email address, which makes it really easy to see their true indentity, which I can assure you is not Sharty Shart McShartface, Monaca Maalpass, Ingy or Fantasy fest update:

Nor is it any of these people:

Moving on.

Shaq’s C0ck = Muggsy Bogues wearing a fur coat, Michael Barkann’s circumcized penis and Man – you are brave likes little boys and sheep are all the same person– 161.195.66.147:

And that brings us to Brad the 24 year old tinder stud— 71.225.65.94:

Brad is his own biggest fan:

Among many other people, including Sarah puck bunny Baicker, Ray Didinger Coke Fiend and Erin the 23 year old Temple slut:

And, sadly, all of these people, too:

Yes, Virginia, Brad the 24 year old tinder stud is Jillian Mele’s Bleached Asshole. Nothing is as it seems.