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The Rollerblade Robber is Wreaking Havoc in Montgomery County
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
There’s a rollerblading robber on the loose in Montgomery County, who just held up a gas station on Sunday night. The worst part about it is he’s one of the worst bladers I’ve ever seen. Andy Brinker he is not:
If you’re this guy, sure, you got away, but you have to be so pissed they got you on video and now everyone knows how much of a poser you are. I mean this dude looks like it’s the first time he’s ever put on a pair of rollerblades. There was nothing smooth about the getaway there. He was just click clunking all over the asphalt and did a MASSIVE loop around the gas pump, wasting precious time. This is definitely a guy with a DUI that needs to blow into one of those Blow-N-Gos before his car starts and that’s why he opted into the blades. So if you’re in the court offices in Montco I’d start checking all the DUI cases in the last year first.
God I can’t get over this. What has happened to Abington that we’ve got rollerblading robbers ballsy enough to rob our gas stations? As a child of Roslyn, have we completely lost our minds that now we’ve got what looks like a katana in the pocket? –
Who is this guy, Kenshi from Mortal Kombat? A freaking katana and rollerblades is an insane combo! Screw the gun, no wonder the cashier gave up the money so quick. I’ve got one rule and it’s never mess with the guy who has ancient Japanese weaponry in their pocket.
OBLIGATORY ROLL OUT!
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com