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Tiger Woods’ Police Report Is Something

By Kyle Scott

Published: May 30th, 2017 · 10:49 AM EDT

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Ohhhhhhhh intrigue.

So there’s a lot to unpack in Tiger Woods’ police report, which was just released:

Few things:

1. Blowing a 0.00 on the breathalyzer lends some credance to Tiger’s defense that he had an unexpected reaction to prescription painkillers. A cynic might say the reaction was very expected.
2. I saw some people on Twitter thinking Woods was asked to recite the National Anthem backwards. The Romberg Alphabet simply means speaking the alphabet in its correct order. Woods was preparing himself for all out psychological warfare when all he had to do was speak a few letters.
3. Woods stated that he was coming home from California. He was arrested in Florida. Longest drive he’s ever had.

Police report from (@JasonSobelESPN)