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WANTED: Slore to Devirginize Harvard Bound Son

By Kyle Scott

Published: Jul 19th, 2013 · 11:04 AM EDT

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This Philly mother wants a teenage girl to ostensibly rape her son before he goes off to Harvard:

That’s a move we would expect to see from the mother of someone bound for Penn State Delco, The Harvard of Baltimore Pike, as a commenter once so eloquently and geographically-challengedededly put it. That said, did anyone else got hot reading that last part? That’s how pornos start– innocent dude meets seductive girl, seductive girl forces him into questionable decision and, boom, next thing you know he’s hanging from leather straps tied around an industrial strength ceiling fan in an apartment above a bar in Aston screaming, “Harder! Harder!” 

You got to give the mom credit: this is a CIA-style move right here, pulling strings behind the scenes using financial incentives in return for one or multiple explosions that turn an otherwise promising subject into a conflicted mess.  

Of course, this may not be real. It has been flagged for removal by Craigslist (I’m guessing there’s an unknowingly pimping out your son clause somewhere in their terms). But if it is real… well done, mom. Well done. Your son will learn a lot at Harvard, but sometimes life’s most valuable lessons come outside the classroom and inside the loins of money-grubbing slores. Though you could have just sent him to UPenn for that experience.

via The Daily Dot