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Wildwood Birds are Wreaking Havoc on Cars
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
Who would’ve thought the most bombs dropped this weekend would be in North Wildwood? Call in the National Guard, these birds need to be stopped:
Absolutely painted the hood of that car like a Jackson Pollock. Holy shit (literally). I can’t believe a nest of tiny birds could do that much damage, but I guess that’s what happens when your diet is boardwalk fries and funnel cake. How do you even clean that up? There is no chance you can take that to the A1A Car Wash and ask for the detail package. That needs professional help and maybe a new paint job. I wouldn’t be surprised if the bird shit ripped through that hood and into the engine by the time the owner got back to it. Also, could you imagine the smell? This might be an act of war.
This isn’t the first time these birds have done this. Apparently it’s a yearly thing. It’s so bad the neighbors are warning people. This one wasn’t as bad, but the birds still got their money’s worth:
This is apparently the owner of the car:
Parking down the shore is the 8th Level of Hell so I kind of get what Cait is saying here. Take the kamikaze crap and we’ll deal with the consequences after the weekend is over. Also, it’s hard not to side with the birds. It’s technically their home you’re coming into. They’re free to squat and shit and build wherever they want. So anyone that parks under here is getting what they deserve. Go Birds.
I’m gonna be down in North Wildwood in a month. Might have to visit this tree and get the birds’ side of the story. This can’t be the only spot in NW being attacked.
Kinkead: be careful using NJ Casino apps under this tree.
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com