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Your Monday Morning Roundup

Kyle Scott

By Kyle Scott

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It’s gameday, baby. There’s nothing better for the common football fan than when the Eagles play in prime time– it allows you to enjoy a day of football, fantasy, RedZone and more without the stress of agonizing over every play and then tuning to Postgame Live before realizing that the late afternoon games are already in the third quarter and, shit, you’ve missed almost an entire day of football. Alas, there won’t be many of these this year because the Eagles have a whole slew of 1 p.m. jobbers coming up… until they start 4-0 and get flexed to Sunday Night Football and its disappointing new theme song saved only by Carrie Underwood’s legs.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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Fantasy. Join our Crossing Broad Draft Kings league and play in our FREE Week 3 event– the top 75 finishers win money, and whoever has the most points between Weeks 2 and 3 will get two lower level Sixers tickets courtesy of Draft Kings. I finished 64th out of 369. Not bad. And can I say I love how people have taken to creating their own events within our league? One suggestion though– make them smaller, it’s hard to fill 50-person events. Join our league here.

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Carson City. Come visit. Get one.

More. Already have all of our shirts? Check out Philly Phaithful.

Amazon. You’re going to shop there anyway, use our link and support your favorite website.

 

The roundup:

So they buried that whale in Sea Isle:

Shoutout to reader Larry who broke the news to us. I didn’t believe him, but he was right:

Beach-goers in Sea Isle were shocked Friday afternoon to find a dead 33-foot humpback whale washed ashore.

One day later “he’s part of the 20th Street dune.”

Bob Schoelkopf, founding director of the Marine Mammal Stranding Center in Brigantine says the whale’s remains were buried right where the animal was discovered.

“It’s underground, about eight feet down. People will probably come down next year and not even know that they’re putting their blankets and chairs on top of a whale.”

I can’t imagine how burying a dead whale on the beach is a good idea and look forward to when a kid digs up its fucking blow hole with a plastic shovel. Can anyone explain this to me?

 

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There are reports that he had links to international terrorism. If he didn’t, and was acting on his own, I look forward to several days of discussion about whether this was part of ISIS or not and most of the media not realizing that it doesn’t matter. ISIS is an organization, yes, but it’s also a mindset and a guiding influence which encourages these sort of attacks. It doesn’t matter whether this guy had ever placed a call overseas or if he’d never talked to someone outside of Teaneck. What matters is that he thought he was acting on behalf of ISIS, even if they’re shaking their damn heads that he managed to detonate several bombs in a major metropolitan area without killing anyone.

And 5’6, 200 lbs? I can’t imagine why he’s angry at the world.

 

The President could text the entire country any time he wants.

 

Great New York Times article– what playing Madden teaches us about football.

 

What do you think the sleeve would look like on that book?

 

Standby for more of Jon Dorenbos’ magic tonight:

 

Here’s something being written about Sam Bradford this morning:

Even if there’s every chance he eventually gets injured, as is his wont, or lapses into mediocrity, as is his hallmark, it’s still OK to say it now: Sam Bradford was awesome last night.

Bradford’s good numbers in Minnesota’s 17-14 win over Green Bay—22 of 31 for 286 yards, two touchdowns, and zero turnovers—look even better in light of his expectations. He’s only had the playbook for a couple weeks, gotten just five or six practices in, yet took the field for his Vikings debut and looked like he belonged there, hitting his receivers in stride.

Strange times.

 

I actually really like the two on the top:

 

I know how this ends– I overspend on him in Draft Kings next week and he rushes for 24 yards and has two receptions totaling 6 yards:

 

I stick by my assertion that the Bay Area is the most dangerous place to watching a sporting event… especially if you’re a corny doofus trying out karate moves on a hulking brotha with a gold chain:

Side note: The guy in the hat who throws the sucker punch and then SCAMPERS off is the most underrated part of this video.

 

I feel like Crusher Doug is getting in over his head here when it comes to Malcolm Jenkins’ planned protest:

“If they want to do something teamwide, I’d definitely be for that,” he said. “I think it just shows unity and (that) there’s no division that way. I think it sends a great message, from our standpoint … We love this country and what it represents and the flag and the national anthem and everything. Listen, we’re not perfect, obviously, and for us to stand sort of united that way, I’d be OK for that.”

 

Craig Carton skewers Megan Rapinoe… presumably still says Eric Lindros was hungover for that one game.

 

There was a wedding at the Rams’ tailgate.

 

Tebow:

 

This is the best thing Temple football fans have ever done:

 

Hillary Clinton is coming to Philly today in an attempt to reach millennial and suburban voters… by speaking in North Philly.

 

Curt Schilling wants to execute those with suspected terrorist ties.

 

This is… not bad:

 

Crazy Mets artwork in the New Yorker:

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The ribbon cutting for the Sixers’ practice facility – or, the Philadelphia 76ers Training Complex’s Basketball Operations Facility, which rolls right off the tongue – is this Friday. Here’s a bunch of corporate mumbo jumbo.

 

When the Eagles come to your city for a Monday night game, you gotta deal with things like this all weekend:

 

For no reason, here’s video of Sixers strength and conditional coach Todd Wright training Nerlens Noel on a beach while he wears a silly swimsuit:

YouTube video

 

Phillies setting records:

 

Here’s a great Hard Knocks-style look into the Eagles’ week one.

 

The Browns fired a bunch of scouts before the draft, maybe because of how much they liked Carson Wentz.

 

Trey Burton, Zach Ertz, Jordan Hicks, and Jordan Matthews visited a police officer who was wounded in the line of duty.

 

Jay Cutler is 8-2 on Monday nights, with a 61.6 completion rating, 7.29 yards per attempt, 20 touchdowns, seven interceptions, and a 95.5 passer rating.

 

This sums up Minnesota pretty well:

 

That’s not how flags work:

https://twitter.com/DerekNBCSD/status/777604889950031872

 

It’s already been a banner week for fan brawls, so remember that if one of those “only Eagles fans” stories pops up tonight.

 

Everyone ragged on the dude wearing jorts, Redskins socks, and slides to propose to his girlfriend, but at least he didn’t pull a John Wall.

 

Podcast:

We’re joined by Eliot Shorr-Parks to talk Eagles and more:

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The Stepover Episode 7 with Special Guest Chu Chu Maduabum:

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Kyle Scott
Kyle Scott

Kyle Scott is the founder and editor of CrossingBroad.com. He has written for CBS Philly and Philly Voice, and been a panelist or contributor on NBC Sports Philly, FOX 29 and SNY TV, as well as a recurring guest on 97.5 The Fanatic, 94 WIP, 106.7 The Fan and other stations. He has more than 10 years experience running digital media properties and in online advertising and marketing.

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