Union

Delusional Take of the Week: Scottish Soccer Account Doesn’t Think Union’s Best Player is Good Enough for the Almighty Rangers F.C.

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Jan 4th, 2024 · 10:00 AM EST

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We’ll get it back to the Eagles momentarily, but first I want to rip “Glasgow Rangers Nation” for this ridiculous take:

No thanks. Plays in MLS. Never played at a top European club or at any high standard of European football

— Glasgow Rangers Nation (@GRN1872) December 29, 2023

This account is a “Rangers FC news channel. Run by fans for the fan.” The person behind the account at that particular moment doesn’t think Kai Wagner is good enough to play for their team, which is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

For starters, Kai was the Union’s best player in 2023. He’s a two-time MLS All Star and made the MLS Best XI in 2022 (kinda like being an NFL All Pro). He’s good enough to walk into any MLS starting lineup, and in recent years the league has transferred players directly from the U.S. and Canada to clubs like Bayern Munich, Leipzig, Newcastle, Salzburg, Udinese, and Aston Villa. So the thought that MLS players aren’t good enough for Scotland is comical when you look at the recent track record of outgoing transfers.

If you’re not familiar with the SPL, it’s the most top-heavy soccer league in the world. There are two teams at the pinnacle, Rangers and Celtic, and everyone else is the definition of mediocrity. Seriously. Celtic has won the league 53 times and Rangers 55 times. You’d have to go back to 1985 to find the last time somebody not named Rangers or Celtic won Scotland’s league.

So what happens is that Celtic and Rangers take turns winning the SPL and qualifying for the Champions League, where they proceed to get their asses totally kicked. Celtic has not gotten out of a Champions League group stage since 2013, when they finished 2nd in a group that included Barcelona, Benfica, and Spartak Moscow. In the round of 16, they lost 5-0 on aggregate to Juventus. In Rangers’ most recent Champions League group effort, they scored two goals and conceded 22, getting run off the pitch by Liverpool, Napoli, and Ajax. They haven’t advanced from the group stage since 2006.

Where Rangers have found their continental success is in the Europa League, which is basically the loser’s bracket of European football. Two seasons ago, they went all the way to the final, before losing to Frankfurt on penalties. That’s a fantastic run for a club like Rangers, which has no business being in the Champions League, but can hack it in the junior varsity competition.

Furthermore, it’s insane to think that an MLS player isn’t good enough for Rangers, considering that more than a half dozen guys have done it already. Maurice Edu, Alejandro Bedoya, DaMarcus Beasley, Carlos Bocanegra, James Sands, Matt Polster, Claudio Reyna, Jose Cifuentes, and Emerson Hyndman all played for Rangers and also in MLS. And Celtic, currently top of the Scottish table, has a starting right fullback who transferred directly to Scotland from Montreal. So if your biggest rival, eight points clear as of publication, thinks MLS talent is worthy of looking at, you should probably feel the same way.

It’s all bullshit. These guys are delusional. One of Rangers’ best players of the last 10 years was a guy they signed from fucking Finland. You’re gonna tell me the Finnish league is good enough for possible transfers, but MLS isn’t?

Other current Rangers players, and the teams they played for before coming to Scotland:

• Todd Cantwell – Bournemouth
• James Tavernier – Bristol
• Connor Goldson – Brighton
• Abdallah Sima – Angers
• Borna Barisic – Osijek
• John Lundstram – Sheffield
• Cyriel Dessers – Cremonese
• Sam Lammers – Sampdoria
• Jack Butland – Crystal Palace
• John Souttar – Hearts

So on and so forth. It’s a collection of good players who had a cup of coffee or various loan spells with Championship clubs but just weren’t good enough for the top divisions of English football, then some random signings and loan moves from all across Europe. You can’t sit here and tell me with a straight face that guys from the Croatian League and 1st/2nd division Italy and France tweeners are worth a look, but a 26-year-old, 2x MLS All Star isn’t. It doesn’t make any sense.

That’s why you can only laugh at these accounts, which hopefully are the exception in attitude, and not the norm. You’ve got people out here acting like Rangers FC is Real Madrid, when they’re actually the second-best team in a two-team league.

EDIT – One other thing: I think Andre Blake, Jose Martinez, and Jakob Glesnes walk right into Rangers’ starting lineup. 100%.