Posts for bathroom

IronPigs Bring Watersports to Men’s Room Urinals

Kyle Scott - March 26, 2013

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Yo, seriously, step the fuck off, Reading Fightins GM Scott Hunsicker— there’s a new zany promotion sheriff in town, and this one wants you to piss excellence. Or have excellent pisses. Something like that.

Cliff Lee would be great at this:

Coca-Cola Park will be the first sports venue in the world to feature a brand new revolutionary "Urinal Gaming System", allowing fans to interact with the world's only truly hands-free urinal game controller, when the Lehigh Valley IronPigs open their 2013 season this April.  The p-controlled video game systems will be featured within all men's restrooms at Coca-Cola Park and are exclusively presented by Lehigh Valley Health Network.

 

Puns!

"These games are sure to make a huge splash," exclaimed IronPigs General Manager Kurt Landes. "Our fans are always looking for the next big thing and these 'X-Stream games' are another example of our commitment to providing an unparalleled entertainment experience in all aspects of Coca-Cola Park, including our restrooms."

 

I’m smiling. If you could see me right now, I’m actually smiling.

When a user approaches the urinal, the video console flips into gaming mode, using patented technology that detects both his presence and stream.  

 

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Algorithms then allow the user to engage with the screen by aiming in different directions to test their agility and knowledge.  

 

Cocksmithing, if you will.

The games are 100% intuitive and custom-built to provide a unique user interface along with an easy and seamless experience.  The Urinal Gaming System was created and developed by United Kingdom-based Captive Media.  For more information on Captive Media, or to see a video of the p-controlled video games, visit www.captive-media.co.uk.

 

OK:

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This Photo of Alex Rodriguez Ain’t Worth Shit

Kyle Scott - February 28, 2012

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Screen grab via Yahoo, AP

As you probably noticed by our Raul Ibanez post, the Yankees got their pictures taken yesterday. Some in the bathroom. Really.

Anyway, we can just throw a whole bunch of puns out there, like “their season seems poised to go down the toilet” or “for once an A-Rod urinal story didn’t result in a positive test,” but we’ll just let you watch the video after the jump.

BTW– Anyone else think Alex looks a little flush?

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Angel Pagan Almost Missed His At-Bat Last Night Because He Was Pooping

Kyle Scott - August 23, 2011

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Truth.

In the top of the fifth inning, with Nick Evans at the plate, Mets manager Terry Collins went in search of his leadoff hitter, Angel Pagan, who was in the bathroom and not ready to bat: [NY Daily News]

"I told the trainer, I have to go to the bathroom," Pagan said.

Turns out, the center fielder felt a rumble at the end of the fourth. It arrived suddenly, and with great force. Pagan said he informed trainer Ray Ramirez, and ran to the clubhouse.

"When you're up fourth in the inning and you have to do that, it's just not fun," Pagan said.

With the immediate problem near resolution, Pagan noticed that the inning had progressed more quickly than expected.

"When I finished, I looked at the TV, and I see Nick Evans, 3-2."

Uh-oh.

 

Uh-ohs indeed. It turns out our magical steed works so quickly that Pagan didn’t have time to finish his poo-poo.

The center fielder made it to the plate just in the nick of time. He promptly swung at the first pitch and grounded out. When he got back to the dugout he learned that Jason Pridie would be taking his place in center. Collins was unhappy with Pagan, who, according to the Mets manager, didn’t tell him he was feeling sick.

Perhaps this is the sort of thing Collins was talking about when he ranted about his teams' discipline in June. But hey, at least David Wright had the presence of mind to try to call a timeout:

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Collins later met with Pagan, Wright, and others, as he was unhappy with his team. Shocking.

Anyway, all of the announcers were perplexed over the whereabouts of Pagan. Not surprisingly, Larry Anderson knew exactly where he was. Watch the video after the jump.

The Mets: American's car accident.

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McNabb Snubbed by Justin Bieber

Kyle Scott - May 3, 2010

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(Source:  TheWashingtonPost.com)

As if never being embraced by the city that made you a star wasn't enough, now McNabb can't even get respect from douchebag, 16 year old pop singers with annoying hair.

At Saturday night's White House Correspondents Dinner, where Barack Obama roasts members of the media, McNabb became a punchline himself, as he was one of many celebrities in attendance.  Another? Pop singer/teenie boppin heart throb, Justin Bieber. 

According to the Washington Post, McNabb asked Beiber for an autograph to give to his 6 year old daughter. Bieber, who was on his way to the mens room, told McNabb to wait until he was finished.

*shakes head*

McNabb waited.  

Oh the emasculation.

Rumor has it that Five tossed a pen to Bieber for him to sign with, but it landed at his feet.