Posts for fan

Avalanche Fan Texts About Mean Flyers Fans in Size 64 Font

Kyle Scott - February 7, 2014

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This is perfect. Soft, potentially blind Avalanche fan, wearing a sweater under his sweater, can’t hack it at the Wells Fargo Center. Thank God he wasn’t sexting on that teleprompter– “I WANT TO SMOKE YOUR ROCK HARD…” hey, the rest cut offWhat does she want to smoke? WHAT DOES SHE WANT TO SMOKE?!

Lions Fan Claims He was Beaten Unconscious Leaving Eagles Game

Kyle Scott - December 10, 2013

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I was hesitant to post this since all it’s going to do is give some Philly-hating nutbag fodder to call my a hypocrite the next time I point out something shitty done by fans of another team. But the fact is, bad shit happens everywhere. Adrian Peterson said the people in Baltimore are basically the worst on Earth:

Anyway, this unidentified Lions fan told the Inquirer and FOX Philly that he was beaten unconscious leaving the Eagles game on Sunday as he walked on Pattison near Xfinity Live!.

From the Inquirer:

As he crossed the street, heading toward the train, six of the men blocked his path and continued to scream at him.

“I was like, ‘Are you guys serious? You won, enjoy it.’ ”

The smallest man slapped his head from the side. Another man then pushed him from behind, and the group bum-rushed him, he said.

To defend himself, he threw a punch and brought one of his attackers to the ground. But then he felt punches to the back of his head, he said: “I felt like I was being choked and punched.”

That’s when he lost consciousness, he said.

When he came to, sore and bruised, another Eagles fan was standing over him, offering help, he said. “He stayed with me and walked me toward SEPTA.”

The man remembered the Good Samaritan being so disgusted over what he had witnessed that he took off his Eagles jersey and threw it in a trash can.

That last part sounds a little fishy. That happens in soda commercials. What, did Mean Joe Green show up next and toss his jersey to some kid? I find it hard to believe some Eagles fan was so repulsed by what he saw – after one of the best games in team history – that he just decided to throw out his jersey on a whim because of a few dickhead fans.

From FOX Philly:

“They were looking for this situation. They weren’t gonna let it go. They obviously were probably drunk, wanted to fight,” he said.

The victim says he also endured repeated taunting and being pelted with snowballs and plastic beer bottles during the game while he sat in his front-row seats behind the Eagles bench.

He said he has gone to Lions games all over the country and never experienced this level of aggression and violence.

“It’s not worth going to games if it’s going to be like this,” he said.

Smitty over at Barstool points out something about that bottle comment:

So many holes in this tall tale I’m shocked he didn’t say he was attacked by Paul Bunyan in a Dawkins jersey then get turned to stone after looking some broad from Delco named Medusa in the eyes. Dude’s got knuckles as swollen as Rocky’s after a prize fight and he’s saying he got slapped around and sucker punched? Red flag #1. Other questionable things to note: No security cameras or other witnesses saw this but “The Good Samaritan”? What about the thousands of other people making there way home in that exact spot after the games? What about getting pelted with bottles inside the stadium when, as McG’s stated, you can only get served in cups at the Linc? Whole thing reeks.

If this guy really got beat up, and what he said happened actually happened, then, obviously, I feel bad for him. But there would would’ve been a ton of people that witnessed it. People with cell phones. People tweeting. People peopling. Yet no one has come forward. Something tells me either A) nothing happened, or, more likely, B) there was a fight and this guy lost. There are two sides to every story, and this sounds like just one of them.

Video after the jump. Continue Reading

Continue Reading

Chicago Fans Steal Helmet, Dump Beer on Jet

Kyle Scott - November 7, 2013

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That must be a thing in the City of Wind– dumping beer on an opposing player’s head.

Don’t see how the Tie Domi thing in Philly is any worse than this: A (husband and wife?) tag team stole Adam Pardy’s helmet and dumped a beer on him after he was checked through the glass last night:

As you may be aware, loyal readers, if this sort of thing happened here, it would be national news about how Philly fans should be caged, prodded and probed for the betterment of society. Chicago hooliganism, however, will just be glossed over. That said, you got to respect this guy and his conviction that stealing the helmet was absolutely the right thing to do. Like, a head popped into the crowd and the only logical thing he could do was steal the helmet for his mantel. And then just to stake the claim, his partner dumped beer on the vacant cranial.

The worst people in all this are not the fans, but rather the dickhead Jets who decided to start a scrum along the boards while their teammate’s head was in the danger zone and a pane of glass laid on top of some innocent bystanders. Real cool, guys.

More Chicago fans: On Sunday, a Bears fan husband won a bet with his Packers fan wife that allowed him to taser her after the Bears-Packers game:

Grant told police he and his wife made a bet that he could use a Taser on her if the Bears won.

The two were in the alley smoking a cigarette at one point when Grant used the Taser “two times on her buttocks,” according to a criminal complaint filed in Dodge County, Wis.

Grant’s wife then called police.

“Hell yeah it hurt,” she said, according to police.

Grant was charged with felony possession of an electronic weapon.

OK, that’s actually kind of hot. What happened next?!

Banner Week for New York Fans

Kyle Scott - October 23, 2013

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Things… they’re not going so well for the Mets and their fans. Take, for example, 42-year-old Aryn Leroux, who looks like he’s masturbated his way into an acne problem.

From the NY Post:

Aryn Leroux, 42, was arrested on Wednesday on an outstanding warrant, issued after a joint investigation by the NYPD’s 110th Precinct detective squad, the Queens District Attorney’s office and West Haven Detective Sean Faughnan, according to NBC Connecticut.

Leroux was charged with threatening in the second degree and breach of peace. Police said Leroux posted $2,500 bail.

Using the handle @danXtanna — whose bio describes a “Mets-Cowboys-Celtics-Rangers-Uconn” fan and “Horror Movie Buff” – Leroux was known in Mets circles as a notorious Twitter troll. A review of his sad Twitter timeline shows that he desperately wanted the team to not bring back Terry Collins and promote Triple-A manager Wally Backman to the position.

Mets reliever LaTroy Hawkins, an active Twitter user, posted on May 30: ”Tweeps, let’s block and report as spam and shut him up for awhile @danxtanna he want to do bodily harm on our team.”

Good. You should go to jail if you threaten to kill someone on Twitter. But let’s talk about Ayrn’s choice in sports teams– the Mets, Cowboys, Celtics, Rangers and UCONN? Holy shit, dude. What sort of inbreeding and years of solitary Warcraft playing leads you down that path? He literally chose the most despised team in every league… save for Rangers, because the Penguins win that beauty contest.

And Wally Backman? Wally Backman is going to solve all your problems?! Nonsense. That’s the NY equivalent of believing that Craig Berube is the answer to an 0-3 Flyers start. Silly talk.

A search for his Twitter account (@danXtanna) reveals that it’s been shutdown. But Twitter user (@theycallmedubs) was nice enough to screen grab some of the comments, which were posted in a message board somewhere:

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Better call Saul.

An Update: It was a Convicted Killer Who Punched a Woman at Jets Game

Kyle Scott - October 21, 2013

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DATELINE: Not Philly.

In an update to the story we brought you earlier about a Jets fan punching a woman— the New York Daily News is reporting that Kurt Paschke, the puncher, is a killer who was once convicted of the most New York slaying ever:

The Gang Green goon who was videoed slugging a female New England Patriots fan after the Jets’ upset victory is not just a pugnacious superfan — he’s a killer.

Kurt Paschke served three years in a state prison back in the 1990s when he was convicted of fatally stabbing a 17-year-old during a fight behind a pizza parlor in Sayville, N.Y.

Jesus Christ– the only thing that death was missing was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arriving late on the scene to find that Spider-Man had already saved Carrie Bradshaw from unwittingly walking into harm’s way after drinks with Adam Sandler.

The best part is that, earlier today, Paschke’s mother told the Daily News that her son was actually acting heroically when he punched a woman on Sunday:

But Paschke’s mom did not bring up her son’s sordid past when she sat down with a Daily News reporter on Monday to defend her son.

Instead, Colleen Paschke portrayed her strapping son as her protector from a nasty woman who flicked blood at her in a parting gesture of contempt.

“He’s the victim, really,” she said her Holbrook, L.I. home, where a half-eaten Jets-themed birthday cake for her boy sat on the counter. “He was just concerned for his mother and himself.”

While Momma Paschke spoke, her son who turns 39 on Friday was hiding out across the street in a house he rents.

This totally beats the time a drunk dude puked on a cop’s daughter at CBP. Totally.

Fucking Yinzer Jumps Off Bridge into Polluted Water After Pirates Win Playoff Game

Kyle Scott - October 2, 2013

HOLD YOUR PHONES SIDEWAYS

HOLD YOUR PHONES SIDEWAYS

Dateline Pittsburgh (CB) — You fucking Yinzers you.

When the mustache-rocking urban planners of Pittsburgh decided to put PNC Park at the foot of one of the city’s 3.6 million bridges, they probably never took into account that, one day, the Pirates might play a game that actually meant something and that, win or lose, the bridge would serve as a tempting predominantly steel structure with which to celebrate or kill one’s self.

The Pirates won last night, so it was the former in that scenario.

Behold, a Yinzer jumping off Clemente Bridge following the Pirates win over the Reds:

But hey, good news– it’s not like that river is polluted or anything:

High levels of an ultra-salty compound that could be linked to oil and gas drilling persist in the Allegheny River’s Pittsburgh-area watershed, while the levels declined in the nearby Monongahela River, recent research shows.

Officials at public water utilities in both watersheds grew concerned in 2009 and 2010 when bromide levels soared during a surge of Marcellus Shale gas drilling. Although not considered a pollutant by themselves, the bromides combine with chlorine used in water treatment to produce compounds that can threaten public health.

A recent Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority report found that high levels of bromides persisted this year in the Allegheny just downstream from industrial brine treatment plants. The plants accept wastewater from oil and gas drilling and other industrial activities.

Oh.

That guy just sprouted fifth and sixth limbs, making him the third most peculiar male in his lineage.

Classy Redskins Fan Faux Jerks Off for ESPN Camera

Kyle Scott - September 9, 2013


Tough night for this guy.

Anyone See This Horrible Man Shove a Little Girl Last Night?

Kyle Scott - August 22, 2013

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Checked both feeds– nothing. It happened when Erik Kratz was at-bat in the ninth inning. He hit a foul ball behind home in the area of the press box. Beat writers quickly started tweeting about it:

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If you saw it or have video, let us know.