So This is Michael Schwimer’s Girlfriend

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Screen Shot 2011-09-14 at 4.44.52 PM Screen Shot 2011-09-14 at 4.44.52 PM

Say buckets, Michael. Say buckets.

Her name is Missy Coles and she is a female bodybuilder. That's not really my cup of tea… but I think Schwim is doing just fine for himself. To confirm this isn't some sort of Mayberry-esque fantasy, we checked her Twitter (@MissyColesFit) to be sure:

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Yep, yep- she's real.

We’ve included a few additional pictures after the jump… ya know, just so you can get a better look.


Screen Shot 2011-09-14 at 4.48.01 PM
Screen Shot 2011-09-14 at 4.48.01 PM

There are a lot more on her Facebook page.


  1. Your site literally is the only place I can simultaneously masterbate and catch up on sports news… your like Google… bringing all the areas of the internet in my life together.

  2. 1 m in Schwimer.

  3. Wow! As John Mayberry, Jr. would put it, I’d fap to that fish!

  4. She may be real, but her breasts are not.

  5. She is seven years older than he is too.Cougar?

  6. @Klaus WHO CARES! She is smoking!

  7. Mayberry sees this, pops in Pirates of the Caribbean, and cries himself to sleep.

  8. Her tits look strong

  9. Jeez louise, does EVERY girl have a bigger ass than I do? You could stick a lump of coal in there and get a diamond! O____O

  10. I would love to finger her with my dick

  11. face has some miles on it but the body makes up for it

  12. I’d put my bat in her upper deck. See what I just did there?

  13. this girl would hurt me and id like it

  14. Yeah her face is beat…looks way older than 32.You could put a baseball between those breasts, bad surgery IMO.That look doesn’t do it for me. Kind of looks like a transvesdike….

  15. @Joe…couldn’t have said it better. Strong indeed!

  16. schwimmer your girlfriend….WOOF!

  17. You could drive a truck through the gap in the 3rd picture! Thanks for posting this CB – I just released the schwimmers!

  18. Looks like a witch but body is sick yo

  19. Some guys have all the luck. I am so jelly!

  20. Nick Poupchuck, Jr.

    September 15, 2011 at 7:53 am

    I’d whack that

  21. I used to bang chicks like that 10 years ago

  22. Looks like she’s been slapping on the Excel 2000 tanning excelerator

  23. the picture of her in the pink corset and the one below that look like 2 different people. last pic is somewhat freightening

  24. @Zaahida we will need visual evidence to make that comparison. if you dont mind forwarding a pic or two or three to kyle of your booty and the rest of your parts we will be happy to give you and unbiased opinion of your “goods”

  25. I would eat the muffins out of her AH

  26. First of all, what Dwayne said. Secondly poor Schwimmer it’s all downhill from here.

  27. Defenestrate Wheels

    September 15, 2011 at 10:01 am

    She needs her candle lit and ima wax that

  28. Disgusting.

  29. Schwimer hates Kyle hahahaha

  30. Harry Mayes from 97.5 The Fanatic just mentioned crossing broad and this post on his show.

    Here is her pics from the Olympia Bikini contest in Vegas yesterday..She did not even place…Notice the huge pimple on her chest…Her face really looks beat in these photos.

  32. Looks like she could rip your dick right the fuck OFF! Best to avoid.

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