The Eagles are Totally Going to Make You F^@&able (Be a Cheerleader!)

Kyle Scott —  February 13, 2012 — 11 Comments
Eagles_cheerleaders


Heyyyy ladies!!!
Tired of struttin’ your stuff in front of just a FlipCam for upload to strippingvideos.tumblr.com?* Well, do we have a solution for you!

The Philadelphia Eagles are not only holding an open casting call for their 2012 cheerleading squad, but they’re also going to mold you to their liking before you ever show up for the tryout– sort of like the creepy theatre head from Black Swan who kissed and groped Natalie Portman's vaginé so he could bring out her inner black swan – and simultaneously give us all uncomfortable, is this supposed to be hot? boner – before putting her on stage.

Sort of like that.

*Serious time drain. You’re welcome.

Eagles_audition

Per an Eagles press release:

 The Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders are beginning their search for the newest members of their elite NFL squad with the 2012 Pre-Audition Workshops, which will help prospective cheerleaders prepare for the Open Call Auditions.

The Mock Audition, Beauty and Fitness Workshop is being held on Tuesday, March 6, 2012 from 6:00 PM – 10:00 PM at Lincoln Financial Field inside the SCA Club. Participants will have the opportunity to participate in a mock audition with the Eagles Director of Cheerleading, Barbara Zaun. Workshop participants will also learn the actual audition routine that they will perform during the Open Call Audition. Additionally, they will receive a consultation from hair and make-up experts and learn fitness & nutrition tips from personal trainers. Those who attend the workshop will also have the opportunity to meet with members of the 2012 Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleading Squad to gain their advice on auditioning successfully as well as learning about their experiences as an NFL cheerleader

 

Translation: We’ll show you how much weight you’ll need to lose and how to do it. Then we’ll introduce you to current cheerleaders, who will tell you that you may or may not be expected to fuck Ryan Howard.

The Dance Prep Workshop is being held on Wednesday, March 14, 2012 from 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM. It was designed specifically for women who are interested in auditioning that would like to get more acquainted with the Eagles Cheerleaders style of choreography. The workshop will be conducted in the same format as the 3 hour rehearsals that the Eagles Cheerleaders attend year round.

 

Translation: Trust me, we’re going to weed out the crap and check to make sure you’re working to drop those previously mentioned LBs before we ever get to the real audition. 

Each of these sessions costs only $45. But the Eagles will cut you a break when they train and size you up to maybe or maybe not work for them by offering you both sessions for the low, low price of $75.

Details about the actual tryout are after the jump. Good luck, my princess!


 

  By attending either workshop, participants will be automatically registered for the Open Call Audition taking place on Saturday, March 24th and the Open Call Audition Fee will be waived.

   For more information or to register, please visit the cheerleader section of PhiladelphiaEagles.com.

 

Kyle Scott

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11 responses to The Eagles are Totally Going to Make You F^@&able (Be a Cheerleader!)

  1. Slappy Kyle Scott February 13, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    Typical Kyle Scott Post

  2. That red head cheerleader in the first picture on the right is freaking hot as shit.

  3. Pat Burrell likes dudes….check.

  4. How do I get a job as a judge? I have absolutely no experience but I would be willing to kill a man for this chance.

  5. The Real Iron Ball McGinty February 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    This post makes me horny

  6. A remake of a 1976 Irene Cara movie, “Sparkle” is still technically in postproduction, though a rough cut has been completed. According to executive producer Howard Rosenman, who said he saw that cut just last week, Houston shines in the film. “She is genius in the movie and it would have been a giant comeback for her,” he told 24 Frames.

  7. The cheerleader on the right on the first picture… Total heartless bitch.

  8. @bros bro-I wouldn’t licking her pussy

  9. Mind
    too many beers tonight

  10. incredibly wonderful blog post,very informative and impressive.

  11. Carter explained his thought process in a 2007 book, “Behind the Glory,” which traced the upbringing of 20 famous baseball players.

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