The Big Piece is Engaged

According to Phillies beat writer Randy Miller, Ryan Howard recently got engaged to Eagles cheerleader girlfriend Krystle Campbell, who once dated Jeff Carter. Carts, you sneaky bastard.

We thought now might be a good time to take you on a little journey throughout their relationship:

– Piece and Kyrstle attend Super Bowl Party.

– Krystle sparks cat fight with other cheerleaders.

– Howard watches Krystle with large camera.

– Piece and Krystle go to a Villanova game.

– Piece and Krystle go to the airport.

– Piece and Krystle go to church.

– And of course, Piece and Krystle go to Dorney Park.

Jesus Christ, I really need to stop stalking Ryan Howard.

Presumably, Piece and Krystle will live together, unlike rapist Ben Roetlisberger and his fiancee- Big Ben claims his faith prevents them from doing so. But not rape. Rape is OK.

Congrats, Piece.


19 Responses

  1. Am I the only one that thinks calling Ryan Howard the Big Piece is pretty gay?

  2. You can stop putting in “used to date Jeff Carter” when talking about girls… its implied that if its a girl… in the philly area… and she’s hot… jeff carter had a run at her.

  3. It’s not as gay when you refer to him as “Larger than Average Piece”. Is it me or should $20,000,000+ per year plus subway, adidas and powerade grab you something better than a below average cheerleader? She looks like something Mikey Miss would pull.

  4. I love when dudes say she’s not that hot. Right. Who are you dating? That girl is hot. Could he do better given his fame and $? Probably but she’s far from being below average.

  5. i was at the game last night.. after howard’s home run, they were showing a replay on the big screen and it was sponsored by UPS, and it said “Big Brown Delivers”… the advertisement didnt finish before someone took it down.
    Seemed pretty ridiculous that they would play that for him.

  6. she is prob low key, not superficial and down to earth, wouldnt you want the same given you were a millionaire?

  7. throw her in a lineup of athletes significant others and see if she isnt at the bottom. Sure she would be above average for a “normie” but falls short otherwise. congrats to big brown though.

  8. JC has the hottest wife. I hope big piece didn’t get an STD from her since she was fucking Jeff Carter prior to him.

  9. She’s hot; our little boyo Kyle is a jealous, pickle-brained moronotard. Although he has a good point about Benny The *Alleged* Rapist.
    Mazzle-tave, Ryan and Krystal.

Comments are closed.