This is what happens when you make $125 million and can do pretty much whatever the fuck you want.
After getting married in Hawaii on Saturday (surprisingly few pictures exist), Ryan and Krystle Howard took a dip in the ocean on Monday, with their tux and dress on, respectively.
One person tweeted a stealthy pic of the couple, rolling about in the Hawaiian waters (an image which I prefer to the clear ones):
Pic via (@quintastic)
Apparently, this is all part of a new fad called “trash the dress,” which sounds like a sexy little game Bill Clinton came up with in the Oval Office. But, it turns out it’s just a thing where brides soak or muddy their expensive wedding dresses by jumping in the ocean, rolling in mud, or spilling food all over themselves. Why? Because women like attention, and doing something that says hey, look at me– I’m sexy and crazy lets everyone know that they’re just a carefree, unpredictable soul, while solidifying their own (mostly inaccurate) belief that they’re not materialistic and are just happy to be one with the earth… and their millionaire husband.
Anyway, the dress, which was featured on TLC's Say Yes to the Dress (a little show I like to call Kill Myself) is ruined. But at least the Howard’s have this $7 wash cloth from our friend Joe over at Busted Coverage.
H/T to (@kyliegeds)