Following Their Wedding This Weekend, Ryan and Krystle Howard “Trashed The Dress” in the Pacific

Kyle Scott —  December 5, 2012 — 19 Comments

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 3.13.57 PMCan't see the line, can you, Russ? [Photos: Splash News]

This is what happens when you make $125 million and can do pretty much whatever the fuck you want.

After getting married in Hawaii on Saturday (surprisingly few pictures exist), Ryan and Krystle Howard took a dip in the ocean on Monday, with their tux and dress on, respectively. 

Oh.

One person tweeted a stealthy pic of the couple, rolling about in the Hawaiian waters (an image which I prefer to the clear ones):

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.50.21 PMPic via (@quintastic

Apparently, this is all part of a new fad called “trash the dress,” which sounds like a sexy little game Bill Clinton came up with in the Oval Office. But, it turns out it’s just a thing where brides soak or muddy their expensive wedding dresses by jumping in the ocean, rolling in mud, or spilling food all over themselves. Why? Because women like attention, and doing something that says hey, look at me– I’m sexy and crazy lets everyone know that they’re just a carefree, unpredictable soul, while solidifying their own (mostly inaccurate) belief that they’re not materialistic and are just happy to be one with the earth… and their millionaire husband.

Anyway, the dress, which was featured on TLC's Say Yes to the Dress (a little show I like to call Kill Myself) is ruined. But at least the Howard’s have this $7 wash cloth from our friend Joe over at Busted Coverage.

via TMZ, Big League Stew

H/T to (@kyliegeds)

Kyle Scott

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19 responses to Following Their Wedding This Weekend, Ryan and Krystle Howard “Trashed The Dress” in the Pacific

  1. then he trashed her anus

  2. When do we get new news?

  3. “then he trashed her anus”
    well done sir.

  4. Gold digging Ho

  5. Now that the wedding is over it’s a full on face stuff until she’s the same weight as him.

  6. This may have been the gayest, gay leaning post of the year until you so eloquently described the modern day ho-bag. Way to redeem. There’s a reason the vagina resembles a wallet.

  7. @mac, the only thing that won’t be gettin stuffed in her face will be the nose’s cock.

  8. Beauty & the Beast

  9. Mrs. Howard should show some class & auction that dress off to charity

  10. I wonder if she does anal

  11. dennis’ ex-cellmate December 5, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    dennis certainly does

  12. I bet Ryan literally tore her P to shreds

  13. Heard her dad was pushing hard for her to get back with Jeff Carter.

  14. William Visconto December 5, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    This make me sick that howard can not stick to his own kind.. Enjoy a black lady Howard

  15. @william…black chicks are ugly cunts, you can control white women and they better lookin

  16. that dress is $11,000 must be nice

  17. Awe you can just tell how much she loves him.

  18. There are so many articles out there about your wedding and lots of it is very useful. As a wedding photographer, I always try and help my couples as much as I can and give them advice throughout the day.

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