And Now, Lurid Excerpts From a Stripper’s Book About Michael Vick

Voila_Capture998I’ve been trying to secure an interview with the former stripper who wrote a book about her romance with Michael Vick.

There’s a lede my eighth grade teacher can suck on.

She (the former stripper who goes by Bella Escritor, not my eighth grade teacher) requested that I read the book first, and provided me with a proof copy, a PDF, with which to do so.

That was my morning today.

Quarterback Keeper is a short book– roughly 153 pages of largish font and simple sentences. It reads fairly well, actually. It is a very descriptive account of how Escritor came to meet Vick, and their ensuing romance, which Escritor claims lasted until well into Vick’s time with the Eagles. There is a significant amount of skepticism surrounding the book, much of it stemming from Escritor’s seeming eagerness to capitalize on her relationship with Vick, the fact that no publishers wanted the book (she self-published) and that she wrote it under a pseudonym. But Kiana (real name) tells me that she simply wants to give her side of the story before someone involved writes an inaccurate account of her relationship with Vick. She says she is proud to be college educated “with a trade in nursing.” She cites her decision to write behind a pen name as evidence that she’s not looking for fame.

She was able to provide some evidence that she knew Vick to Jimmy Kempski of Philly.com, but didn’t offer up any of the photos she claims to have. A quick check of some of her accounts in the book, however, do check out:

She mentions staying at the Aloft hotel in Philly. Indeed, Vick and his foundation do have a relationship with the hotel. They held at least one event there, and it played host to Vick’s exclusive sit-down with Mike Missanelli in 2011.

She talked about a weekend in a Dallas hotel before a game against the Cowboys. She mentioned Vick cheering the success of the new quarterback of his old team the day of the game and then winning his game that night. In 2010, the Eagles did, in fact, play and win a Sunday Night game at Dallas, the same day Matt Ryan and the Falcons beat the Panthers.

There were other details, some football related, that seemed to be accurate. As someone who has detailed Vick’s on- and off- the field activities over the last few years, I can say that Escritor’s details and timeline were fairly tight. There was one part, though, where she mentioned receiving a call from Vick, when he was backing up Donovan McNabb, during halftime, which seems a bit strange.

Escritor writes that she traveled to many away games and would hang with Vick until curfew in the team hotel. When she couldn’t make it, his good luck charm was a naked picture of her, sent on Saturdays before games on Sundays. All the while, Vick was still with, engaged to, and eventually married his longtime girlfriend, Kijafa, who later found out about the affair, according to Escritor.

Anyway, you want the good parts. Here they are, with accompanying chapter titles:

Meeting the quarterback

As I was dancing, I got closer and closer to him. I eventually got so close that my naked body was rubbing up against his shirt and pants. At that point, I knew in my head that I was turning him on, and I could feel him getting hard right away. His quick reaction to me was a little awkward, but not an unusual thing for a customer to do. Normally, it would take a customer more than one table dance to get a rise. I then put my lips up to the side of his neck barely touching it and took a deep breath. I exhaled and said, “Damn you smell good,”, “what is that?” He said it is called Jean Paul, and that you could only get it in Virginia. Really, I thought, but I decided to play along. He then put his lips to my neck, but he actually touched it and said, “damn you smell good, too.” Next, he asked me if I were coming with him when he left the club, adding, “You know I got to have the baddest bitch in the club.”

We then headed to his bedroom. His room was simple and messy inside, not at all what I expected from a house of that stature. We talked a little, and then he turned out the lights, stood behind me, and kissed the back of my neck. That is all it took just those soft kisses, and the next thing I know it is about 30 minutes later, and we both are dripping with sweat from the incredible sex. His body was cut so tight, and that dark chocolate skin tone was sexy as hell. In addition, his package fit my mailbox like a glove. Everything just felt right, and there was an instant connection that immediately made sense. It was in that moment that I actually felt as if I could love him forever. If that did not seem weird enough, I also thought that I could actually feel him loving me as well.

Seeing the quarterback again after jail

I pulled out the apple version of the assorted flavored Durex condoms that I had grown accustomed to using with Vick. When I met Vick he was using Magnums, and I didn’t think he should have been. Magnums left an odor and made me irritated down there, so we switched that up early on. I put the condom on his hard black penis with my mouth and rolled it down with my tongue. I sat my bare naked-ass on a mountain of clothes on the couch and began sucking Vick’s dick as he stood there appearing to be enjoying it from what I could see whenever I looked up. He then stopped me and bent me over the couch and said,” damn girl you trying to make a nigga cum quick huh, where you learn how to suck like that?” He then asked if I had any KY Jelly with me. I told him we didn’t need it cause I was wet as hell from the moment I saw him downstairs. He then said let me see, and he fingered me and agreed with me. He put his hand under my stomach arching my ass up in the air, and he slid his dick inside me. Then he pumped with the strongest force I had ever felt from him. This man was fucking me so hard I had cramps in my stomach. And then just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he came.

The next morning Vick arrived early as hell, smiling and shit with a bunch of Chick-fil-A biscuits in his hand. As angry as I was, seeing my boy only made me smile, and all I could say was, “Why the fuck you go to Chick-fil-A? You know I don’t eat biscuits.” He responds, “I know. But I bet you will today.” And, I just kiss him on the cheek. I was still looking like the night before because I slept in my clothes, and we are now in the living room section eating breakfast and watching what appeared to be more Vick news on ESPN.

Thoughts on starting quarterback

I answer the call and Vick tells me he is on the plane ride home right now with the team. I can hear what sounds like frustration in his voice as he talks, so I ask him to calm down a little. He then says, something along the lines of the other Quarterback being selfish. I respond, “I know right”. And, now since I think I know where the frustration is coming from, I decide to talk for him because I know he can’t on a quiet plane with his new teammates. So I continue the conversation by telling Vick that I noticed how the other Quarterback acts like he’s happy Vick’s there but as soon as Vick does good on any of those plays, he wants to go back on the field and replace him. Vick seems to be agreeing with me as I speak, so I continue to do so.

I go on to say that the other Quarterback and his selfishness may have been the reason they lost the game. That’s when Vick’s voice raises a little, and he’s all like “exactly” that’s what the fuck I’m saying too Fam (name for Escritor).” Once we get that out he sounds calm and tells me he will hit me up when they land in Philly. But from the look on my boyfriend’s face, I tell him, “Naw Fam just sleep it off and get at me tomorrow.”

Always McNabb.

Realizing it was love

My gift to Vick was a simple bubble gum/candy machine, not the toy kind, but the real thing. I had found it at a place that sold store fixtures, and it was the kind that stood about four feet tall and needed a quarter inserted into it in order to get the candy out. I was always buying Vick candy, and assumed it may have been one of his favorite past times, so I had decided this would be the perfect gift. I filled it with a variety of what he had told me were his favorite treats before loading it inside of my car. Vick also kept a water bottle full of coins in his bedroom, sort of like he was collecting coins. So I figured that the change he uses to get the candy out of the machine could also serve as a piggy/coin bank, as well.

Vick told me that, in the case of my gift, it was really the “thought” that counted. It was also the thought that may have made him tear up the way he did. I just smiled and said, “You know I love you boy.” He replied, “I love you too.” Then he carried his candy machine into the house and put it in the bedroom. When we had sex that night, I began to feel like everything had changed for us. Vick held on in a way he never held on to me before.

Gay headlines

Once we returned to his house, we would separate and watch the others partake in sex sessions throughout the mansion. Vick and I would sometimes crawl on the floors and sneak into people’s bedrooms together and watch them having sex. In addition, if they saw us, we would then get up and run out of there fast as hell. There was one time we were caught looking; I got up to run down the stairs, and Vick was already down there. I was amazed at how fast he was. It was as if he had some super human speed. No matter how many times we would separate from each other, we would usually end the night together alone in Vick’s room.

Overall, you get the sense that Escritor and Vick really had a connection, even though Vick was publicly with and eventually married Kijafa. There doesn’t seem to be much animosity… from Escritor. I can’t imagine Vick is too happy about the book’s release, though.

You can pick up a copy of the book at QuarterbackKeeper.com.

39 Comments

  1. For Who? For What?

  2. Mikey miss’s package fits nicely in martinez’ glove

  3. “Why the fuck you go to Chick-fil-A? You know I don’t eat biscuits.”
    Sexier words were never spoken…

  4. This is some “50 shades of black” type shit.

    Fucking amateurs.

  5. Monkus Vick Exposed

    January 16, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    An excerpt Kyle left out:

    One night while we were making love after a wonderful evening at Popeyes, Mike made me wear a mask of his brother Marcus. With every thrust he’d grunt “You always eatin all my muthafuckin chips!” or “Why ain’tchoo get a job nigga damn!”. When we was finished he let me hold five hunnert.

  6. You see the fucking ghetto ass website for this book? This sentence made me LOL:

    *To Purchase a copy of the book today, click on “store” in the upper right hand corner of the website. Then make sure to click on the book or the word store and check the shopping cart feature that will then appear in the lower left hand corner*

    How about you just put a fucking link that says “BUY THE BOOK HERE” in the middle of the goddamn page. I guess strippers aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to basic HTML, who knew?

  7. Swiss Cheese Incident

    January 16, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    “Mikey miss’s package fits nicely in martinez’ glove”

    BAHAHAHAHAHA

  8. Is she a white girl?

  9. “Boy oh boy” -Bill Conlin

  10. Kacie McDonnell's Horse Teeth Selfies

    January 16, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    Vick sounds like a horny guy on the Swiss Cheese Pervert level

  11. Id like to know this proprietary coonlogne that made Vick smell so good that he gets the baddest bitch in da club.

  12. I would think Vick would lose a bit of respect in the locker room after hearing these stories. He a freak lol

  13. Black people amaze me how they always have sex on their minds

  14. mik missinellis slobbering, melting face

    January 16, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    wheres the book ion that stunod, riley cooper?!

  15. Chris Wheelers Tears

    January 16, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    I feel bad for Vick on this one. Its wrong he was cheating, but for someone to take moments that were so personal and write all the details? This girl just makes herself sound like the Smut queen. Vick is gonna bend her over one more time when he sues her HIV positive ass

  16. Angelo's Inner Voice

    January 16, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    Ahhh, sports!

  17. Why do all these sluts have to claim to be a nurse. I have a degree in nursing; why she no speak a good English? Oh yeh, that’s right…. anybody that can put a condom on with their mouth and roll it down with their tongue doesn’t have to speak well…. or at all.

  18. She lost all credibility when she said Vick used a condom

  19. Who cares what mah bay ya daddy deed. We gon shut Nordies and bloomies down. Bout dat money mo. Whatcha aspect me to leve him and gets a jawb?

  20. Steve Jeltz's Cock

    January 16, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    How come strippers & bartenders are always going/saying they are going to school for nursing?

  21. The Wing Bowl is a White Trash Event

    January 16, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    Angelo should try to get this stripper as a wingette

    • Angelo's Inner Voice

      January 17, 2014 at 12:13 am

      I agree. I am getting tired of annually faking enthusiasm for a bunch of slobs stuffing their pie-holes with greasy chicken wings.

      Next year, we are going to replace it with “The Philly Sports Chicks”, a no-holds-barred extreme wrestling event pitting Leslie, Dei, Rhea, and Amy against each other. Look for more details in the spring.

  22. Slammin Gretzky's Daughter

    January 17, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Kyle, this is filthy. I hope you took a shower after reading this book.

  23. Josh Innes is the worst host on WIP

    January 17, 2014 at 1:39 am

    After reading this I think i’m falling in love with the former stripper Escritor.

    • Josh Innes might be the worst radio personality in the history of radio. Why the station brought some no nothing outsider to do a shift is beyond me.

  24. This book is really a gyp….. I’m ashamed to say I bought it. It is hilarious though. She states she has a new man in her life. Now I bet he’s feeling pretty inadequate ’bout now. When she talks of condoms and k-y jelly…. well we all know door he was entering:) lol

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