Darren Rovell is a Real Idiot

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Since-removed Zoo With Roy letter

Yesterday, Zoo With Roy penned a fake letter from Ryne Sandberg to Whom It May Concern at Shake Shack– an obviously satirical response to the food poisoning Sandberg suffered after eating a burger from the company’s Citi Field establishment. The communique appeared real enough… until you got to the line: “To the chefs, hear this: even if your general manager gives you subprime ingredients (I’m talking total, barely usable crud) and little opportunity or resources to create a better end product you have to persevere and find a way.”

The joke wasn’t obvious to some.

ESPN assbag and self-styled social media guru Darren Rovell took the letter at face value and contacted the Phils to confirm its legitimacy:

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What a genuinely perplexing response. Like, Rovell, who has a habit of taking things online way too seriously, contacted a Major League Baseball team to verify a fake letter written by someone who hides his (or her?!) identity behind the avatar of a penguin eating a Pop Tart. How do you think that conversation went?

Rovell: Hey, calling to confirm the legitimacy of the letter Ryan Sandberg sent to Shake Shack?

Head-shaking Phillies rep: It’s Ry… never mind. What letter?

Rovell: The one obtained by Zoo With Roy.

Head-shaking Phillies rep: You’re a fucking moron.

ZWR’s post has since disappeared due, at least in part, to Rovell’s stupidity. And ZWR reminded Rovell that the work on his bolg is often satire:

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Sometimes you just never know what’s real.


  1. Woody Woodpenis

    May 15, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    That’s probably the best blog in the city right there.

  2. Isn’t this kind of like when the guy from the Inquirer wrote an obviously facetious piece about Mike Trout playing for the Phillies in 2021, and Kyle called him out for writing such a ridiculous piece?

    • Kyle Scott

      May 15, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      Yeah I’m pretty sure he was being serious

      • His piece also states the Cubs were winners of the 2020 WS and Steve Bartman and Moises Alou were riding in the same car at the parade.
        He lists the problems facing GM’s Chase Utley of the Phillies and Derek Jeter of the Yankees, among other whimsical predictions.
        Do you seriously not think he wrote that in jest?

      • @KS- this k-c stuff is killing the site yo

  3. On to you Kyle

    May 15, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    Don’t let these bunch of random and useless posts today bury the articles with the
    comments. Never Forget..

  4. He’s talking about Rovell being serious

  5. Tony Bruno's cats

    May 15, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    I thought that only Sean Brace would be dumb enough to fall for that letter. Or Marks big titted girlfriend,

  6. Steve Keeley's Tragic and Embarrassing Attempts to look Youthful

    May 15, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    It’s this knucklehead’s shoddy journalism that gives we serious news reporters a bad rap. Do your homework Rovell, and don’t be in such a rush to be first with the wrong news.

    now, has anyone seen my awful orange hair piece anywhere?

  7. Princess Sass's finger sniffer

    May 15, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    Can’t read it! Its too fucking small!

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