12279_10152742977281477_3414087092559257198_nScreen Shot 2014-09-08 at 3.55.30 PM

My God, idiots abound in this world. I’m angry now, because my plan was to take today mostly off so I could stay up late last night playing NHL 15… and then play it some more today to work on a review… and then have a beer and watch the Apple Keynote, because I’m a big fucking dork. That was going to be my day– video games and Tim Cook. But no. It’s 8:03 a.m., I slept for like four and a half hours, and I’m up now because I made the mistake of looking at Twitter earlier and saw a whole bunch of dumb regarding the McCoy tip thing – which, let’s be honest, really doesn’t matter – and couldn’t get back to sleep. What probably happened is his server was a dick (because everyone has come forward to say that their server is always a dick at PYT) and McCoy, too, was a dick, because the server wasn’t blonde with big, fake tits. That’s where my money is– two dicks, clashing, on a Monday afternoon. We can move on with our lives and get ready to watch Shady bounce bounce bounce next Monday night. But, again, nope. Now everyone’s talking about this, and everyone thinks the receipt was fake. I’ll eat my hat if the thing was fake. And if I get one more Tweet saying it was fake, I’m going to eat that person’s hat, too!

Popular theories:

 

Oh well he actually wrote $20 and PYT added the leading zeros.

You’re dumb. The only thing you have to do to test that theory is look at the total line. That’s literally the only thing you need to do. If McCoy meant to leave $20, there’s no way he wrote $61.76. He may be an absolute moron for all I know, but it’s impossible to be a functioning human – one who makes tons of money – and not know that $20 added to $61 is something more than $61. Fack.

 

It’s not his signature.

IT IS HIS SIGNATURE!

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via CardboardConnection.com

 

He said it was bullshit, even though there are many different meanings of that word.

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You’re right, he did. Did you read the next Tweet?

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PYT faked it because they have world-class Photoshop artists on staff for just such a thing.

I have no doubt Tommy Up is just stroking himself to all this publicity, but I highly doubt that he’s dumb enough to try and defame the best athlete in the town for 24 hours of attention. I also find it extremely unlikely that the server would use his name if they just made this whole thing up. Molly Eichel of Philly.com:

Server Rob Knelly, who has worked at PYT for 3 and a half years, said that McCoy and his three friends were rude and loud the entire time they dined. “I wasn’t surprised [by the tip], I saw it coming. They were extremely rude. I kept my cool for as along as I could, where you just don’t want them yelling and cursing you,” Knelly told me, saying that the party was apparently not happy with their food and asked”What is this s—?.”

“It was very loud and not for a family style restaurant,” Knelly added.

There’s also this tip (one of many) I got right when PYT first posted about this silly clusterfuck:

you may want to investigate a post PYT burgers in philly recently put up on their Facebook. something along the lines of “Lashawn Mckoy is a great rb but a lousy tipper, 20 cents on a $60 bill!!”. the post seems to be deleted now but mayb its still somewhere in web space. good luck!!!

Assuming the tipster knows how to spell LeSean McCoy, it sounds like PYT posted the image, realized they misspelled McCoy’s name, and then re-posted it. Question for you: If they went through the trouble of painstakingly forging McCoy’s signature and printing his name on the bill, don’t you think they would’ve been able to hit the trifecta and get his name right on the Facebook post too?

 

It was “Sean Connery’s” receipt and your mother’s a whore.

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If you believe this, reevaluate yourself. As best as I can tell, a commenter on the PYT Facebook post – which has since blown. the. fuck. up. – Photoshopped Sean Connery’s name on the receipt. Look at the N’s. It’s fake. This image made its rounds on Facebook, Twitter and everywhere else, and now, it’s back all over the comments of PYT’s post. It’s come full-circle, it’s a self-propogating myth. I pose a conundrum to ya, a riddle, if you will: If PYT made a bunch of fake receipts in an effort to get attention, then WHY ARE THE PICTURE, TIMESTAMP, ID NUMBER, REFERENCE NUMBER, APPROVAL NUMBER AND TICKET NAME EXACTLY THE SAME? They would’ve printed two receipts and taken two pictures if this is what they were doing. They didn’t make a fake one and then Photoshop a second one. Think, people! Like, no joke, there are a whole lot of people on Facebook and Twitter citing a receipt that says “SEAN CONNERY”, BUT HAS LESEAN MCCOY’S SIGNATURE(!!!!!) to disprove the much more plausible scenario of a local athlete eating his fucking lunch. SUCK ON IT, TREBEK!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a video game to go play.