Welcome, gentlemen.

This quote from Jim Schwartz sums it up. Doug Pederson, “communicator,” wasn’t more than two minutes removed from aw-guffa-HEE-HAW-ing his way through a prepared statement before he was being lightly roasted over an open flame about playcalling at the end of the Chiefs-Patriots game, when the Chiefs bled more than five minutes off the clock while trailing by 14 because, according to Reid-Pederson, they didn’t want to give Tom Brady a chance for a game-winning drive. Never mind that the strategy never gave the Chiefs a chance for a game-tying one.

Pederson admitted to calling the plays, as he has done in the second half of all games in the second half of the season (this almost makes me like him better, as the Chiefs won 11 straight since Pederson was given a real working headset). He explained that the dopey thinking behind draining the clock was so that if they scored and were able to get the ball back on an onside kick (they didn’t), and score again (they didn’t), then Tom Brady wouldn’t have been given a chance to win the game… which he was already winning by 14. It’ll make your head hurt (and now I don’t like him again). But, Doug at least answered the question like a man.

Enter DeCamara.

We’ve seen this move from Joe DeCamara before— lurking in the wings like a modern day Quint, interrupting the huddled masses and cutting right to the chase:

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“Doug, back here, on the side. While Andy has obviously had some very strong success in the league, the concept of clock management has been an issue for many years – and certainly we saw it here in Philadelphia, totally aside from what we saw this weekend – what is it about his approach offensively… to pretty consistent issues with clock management… what can you as the heach coach do to prevent that from happening in the future?”

Boom. I’ll find him for three. But I’ll catch him, and kill him, for 10.

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Once again, Joe addresses the issue at hand: What will we see differently from Pederson in that regard?

Pederson gave the best answer he could: practice reps. But what he’ll do in those situations remains to be seen… or, we can just watch the last six minutes of the Chiefs-Patriots game.

Side note: Here’s DeCamara from a July 2012 press conference with Reid in which he cut through the noise and basically asked Andy why he was such an asshole:

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Look at him just lurking like a motherfucker. He doesn’t ask many questions, but when he does, the room takes notice. The coach takes notice.

Side note 2: Other images of the assembled media:

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From left to right: Jimmy Kempski, Howard Eskin, DAVE ZANGARO, Reuben Frank, Reuben Frank’s neck, Jeff THE HAMMER McLane.

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Pictured from left to right: The guy on the left looks familiar, Martin Frank, Zach Berman.

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Pictured: Domo

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Pictured from left to right: Les Bowen, Matt Lombardo, Paul Jolovitz’s’s’s’s nose

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Pictured: THEVoila_Capture 2016-01-19_09-11-13_PM

Side note 3:

We can. And yes, I, too, thought that was weird. If the Eagles were image conscious – THEY ARE! – one might have pulled Lurie aside before the presser and said something to the effect of: “Hey, Jeff. They already think you hired a lapdog. At least let him wear his own clothes.” Nope. We got:

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Side note 4: Pederson reminds of so many people:

https://twitter.com/yuschajp/status/689530155975495680

Or, my take: Marco Rubio during his water freakout, because Doug was getting all cotton-mouthy up there:

https://twitter.com/magisterialmago/status/689530209821933571

Side note 5:

Gonna be a fun season!